The Taste of Ink
by BungeeArms
Summary: Edward and his little sister run a tattoo shop with their friends in Seattle. His sister meets Bella and befriends her. Read to see what happens.
1. Chapter 1

_There is blood everywhere; there are bullet holes in their heads. The horrified screams die on my lips as a loud beeping fills my ears._ I roll over and slam my hand down on the alarm clock, grateful for its timely interruption. I roll over onto my back and cover my face with my hands. My forehead along with the rest of my body was cold with sweat and shaking with the tears and cries I refused to let slip out, even in the comfort of my own bedroom. I lived alone; there was no danger of being heard, and yet I refused. I sat up and swung my feet over the side of my bed, my feet recoiling from the cold wood floor. I sighed and mentally pushed myself to get up off the bed. I walked around my bed and into my bathroom and surveyed my reflection in the mirror. My unusually colored bronze hair was unruly and messy, something I never bothered with. My green eyes, which were once vibrant and alive, were now tired and dead looking. Underneath the green were purple like bruises from lack of sleep due to the horrible nightmares that plagued me almost nightly. The green and purple contrasted deeply with the death like paleness of my skin. I sighed and shook my head at my reflection. I turned away from the mirror and hopped into the shower starting my normal routine, moving through the motions without even really thinking.

I showered quickly, got out, brushed my teeth, didn't bother with my hair, and went out to my bedroom. I pulled on my underwear and then a pair of dark wash men's skinny jeans, a black T shirt, and then a pair of black high top converse. I then pulled my necklace over my head. It was a blue glass bead that looked like a gauge that you would stick in an ear, strung on a black string that was knotted at the back. I had worn it for over six years, ever since my sister had given it to me for Christmas. She had made it for me.

I walked into the living room next and grabbed my Jansport back pack. It was tan with sharpie drawings all over it. I put my wallet in my back pocket and cell phone in my front and left the house, skipping eating. I was already late for work; I had taken too long in the shower. It was just after one, and the shop opened exactly at noon. I knew when I finally got to work Alice would rip me a new one unless Kristi got to me first. Alice was my cousin and Kristi was my little sister.

I unlocked my car and hopped in, throwing my back pack into the passenger seat. I drove a silver Volvo. Not the most stylish or coolest of cars but I loved it all the same. The shop me and Alice had started was called The Taste of Ink, a tattoo and piercing shop. We were based down the street from Seattle University, where I had gone to school for art and business. My sister, who was 18, worked at the shop too. She ran the shop as the shop manager making appointments and other such related things, and could do piercing and tattooing but didn't do it often. She had opted not to go to Seattle U but to Cornish College of the Arts, where she was a fine arts major. Our friend and Alice's boy friend, Jasper, worked as a tattoo artist with me and Alice. Our friend Emmett was our piercer. Alice and I had opened the shop four years ago, I was 20 she was only 17. Back then I was the only tattoo artist and she was shop manager. Over the next four years she learned to tattoo, we acquired Emmett and Jasper. And Kristi decided she would help me out, making it a real family business.

I pulled up outside of the shop and parked, sighing as I grabbed my back pack from the passenger seat. I climbed our stairs and opened the door, the bell ringing above my head. When you walked into the shop there was a large open space with chairs and some small tables with our artist books displaying our original tattoos in them. Beyond this waiting area was a counter spanning the width of the room with an opening by the one wall serving as the walk way from the front to the back. The counter was actually a glass display case, displaying a lot of jewelry we had on sale. To the right of the waiting area was the work area. The tattoo stations and piercing stations were in this area. I walked behind the counter to the back corner where my work desk was situated. It was a slanted artists table with my art supplies in its drawers. Jasper and Alice shared a big wooden table as their work desk that was about five feet behind the counter. Kristi usually worked from this old armchair that she had situated directly behind the counter where she kept the cash register and appointment book as well as her sketch book and artist pencils. Her chair was facing into the waiting area and its right side was pushed up against the wall. Kristi was currently curled up in it working on a sketch with her I pod blasting in her ears. She didn't notice me come in.

I dropped my back pack in my desk chair and sighed. Alice came dancing out of the back room where we stored our supplies and glared at me.

"You're late Edward." She said to me. I rolled my eyes. She walked up to me and raised a finger to trace the bruise like tired lines under my eyes. She gave me a sad look. "This why you're late?" She asked sadly. I nodded, pulling away from her and her pitying look. She knew about my nightmares, as did my sister seeing as she suffered from similar nightmares. I turned and walked to the counter. I leaned back on it, my back to the door, looking at my sister. She glanced up from her drawing and smiled at me briefly before going back to her piece.

My sister and I had had a rather rocky relationship. I had been her care taker for a long time. Our parents and brother died six years ago. After that we moved in with Alice, our cousin, and our Aunt and Uncle, Esme and Carlisle. We only stayed with them for about a year. I moved out into my home and petitioned the court to let me be my sister's guardian. When our parents died I was 18 Kristi was 12. When I petitioned the court they were unsure a 19 year old could take care of a 13 year old. But my uncle vouched that over the year we had lived with them that I had shown I could take care of the both of us and support us. I was paying my dues in a friends shop, saving money and going to school, on my uncle's dime. I had always wanted my own shop, which is what I was saving for.

Kristi and I lived together in the house I still lived in for about a year. We were fine until she met Jacob, her boyfriend. He was into bad things, the same bad things I was into, the bad things my Uncle didn't know about when he vouched for me. Despite the fact that I was just like Jake I didn't want Kristi with him. Would you want your baby sister with a guy who did the same bad things you did? What are those bad things? I prefer not to think about them. Jacob basically corrupted my little sister. We were always fighting after she met him and then she moved out shortly after her 14th birthday. She has been living with him for the past four years.

"Yo yo yo Eddie! What's up!?" Yelled Emmett as he too came out of storage. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I thought I told you not to call me Eddie." I mumbled at him. He laughed at me as he walked over to his station and flung himself down in the reclining black seat his clients usually sat in. I met Emmett through Jasper. Emmett was dating Jasper's twin sister, Rosalie, who owned the art supply store down the street. Jasper was my roommate my freshman year of college, before I got my own house.

"Over sleep Eddie?" Questioned Emmett with a big goofy grin on his face. I rolled my eyes.

"In one ear and out the other." Murmured Kristi as she sketched, having pulled the ear buds out of her ears to hear what we were saying. I chuckled quietly and she looked up at me and smiled. She plopped her sketch book, pencil, and I pod onto the counter and uncurled her legs from where they were resting underneath her body. She stood up and walked in front of me. She wrapped her arms around my neck as I wrapped mine around her waist and hugged her. She slumped against me and buried her face into me neck and sighed. I laughed at her. This was something she had done ever since she was a baby. She would put all her weight on me and then put her face in the crook of my neck.

"Edward you have an appointment at 2 00 okay?" She mumbled.

"Okay kid." I said. The others were occupied. Alice was working at her's and Jasper's art table. Emmett was working on a girl who had come in while I was occupied with Kristi. By the looks of it the girl was getting her navel pierced. Jasper came out of the bathroom and walked over to his tattoo station and started cleaning it up, he must have had a client before I came in.

This was my life, I wasn't completely happy with it but it was good all the same. I could deal without the fights with my sister and the horrible nightmares and my bad memory. I lived for the moments of calm in between storms that came with seeing my sister. She was often irritable and pissy, but when she was calm she was the sweetest person in the world. I often wondered if Jacobs bad habits had rubbed off on her.

She pulled away from me and stretched her small body. I studied her. The top of her head only came up to my chin. She had long hair, the same color as mine that traveled to midway down her back. Her bangs were always falling in her eyes. She has a little silver nose ring in her left nostril and snake bites, labrets not rings. In her ears she had two curved barbells at the bottom and an industrial in each. As she turned her back on me I could see the top of one of her tattoos peeking out from behind her tank top. On the back of her right shoulder she had a simple line drawing of a winking sun that she had designed. She wore a black midriff tank top and a pair of black skinny pants. Like usual she didn't have her shoes on, just a pair of white socks. Her shoes were resting in their usual spot underneath her arm chair.

She walked over to my desk and went digging in the drawer that was labeled with her name. She turned to me.

"Where are my glasses?" She asked. I laughed at her. This was a regular occurrence. Kristi was sort of blind without her glasses, which confused me because she drew without them. Her big black rimmed nerd chic glasses were resting on top of her head. She did this often, put them there and then forget they are there.

"Check your head doof." I said to her. She rolled her eyes and pulled them off her head and onto her face. She looked cute with them on like a little nerdy emo artist. But you couldn't let her looks full you, she was a spitfire who could be the shit out of just about anyone.

"Don't call me a doof." She said pushing me sideways. I caught myself and stood away from the counter. She reached under her chair and dragged out her black converse and pulled them on.

"Where are you going?" I asked, raising my eyebrow. She turned to me and mirrored my expression, raising her eye brow at me.

"Out." She said. With that she left the shop. I shook my head. Our relationship could be good at times but it had a long way to go. It was nowhere near as good as it was before six years ago, before… whatever.

I picked up her sketchbook, pencils, and I pod and put them in her drawer in my desk. When I turned around I caught Alice looking at me. She was giving me that sad look again. I rolled my eyes at her as I went to my station to tidy up. There was only a half hour until my client showed I should probably be ready for them.


	2. Chapter 2

Why do older brothers have to be so annoying? I breathed out as I left the shop. I knew Edward was just concerned for me and my well being, but this act needed to end. It was the final curtain call. I was 18 for Christ's sake. I pushed down the anger I could feel bubbling in the pit of my stomach as I knew Jake would not be happy with me when I saw him if I was nothing but compliant and calm.

As I walked down the busy street I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

"Hello Jacob." I mumbled into the phone.

"Hey babe. I need you to do a job for me." He said. He didn't need to explain any further I knew what he wanted me to do for him.

"The usual spot?" I asked resignedly.

"Yes. When you're done come straight to me and drop it off and then go right back to work." He said demandingly. "Do you have class tonight?" He asked.

"Yes from six to nine." I said. He huffed at that and hung up. He said he could never understand my need to get a college degree. Jake himself didn't even have a high school diploma. I rolled my eyes at his blatant stupidity before altering my course. I moved into a seedier part of town. I walked until I came to the opening of a very familiar ally. I moved down it dodging fallen trash cans and varying amounts of debris. It was a dead end as I knew it would be. I stopped at the old brick wall and leaned against it, waiting. I didn't have to wait long. An older woman walked down the alley towards me. She smiled when she saw she was dealing with me this time and not Jake.

"Jacob too lazy to come and get the shipment himself?" She asked. I shrugged.

"I suppose so Crista. It's good to see you again." I said reaching out for the package in her hands. It was wrapped in non- descript brown paper like a paper bag. She pulled it out of my reach. "What hasn't Jake paid yet?" I asked already aggravated with him. This would not be coming out of my pocket.

"No he has. But I thought I told you to leave that looser Kristi." She said stepping closer to me, allowing me to take the package away from her.

"Yeah yeah you tell me to leave him every time you see me. I know you want better for me and don't want me to end up like you, sucked into the underworld of Seattle unable to get out." I said over dramatically. She snorted at my antics. I studied Crista as she laughed. She was as old as my mother would have been where she alive, about 40. She sighed heavily.

"Girl that attitude of yours is going to get you in trouble one day. Just promise me you'll think about getting out while you still can." She said passively.

"I will." I said and started walking away from her.

"That's what you said last time!" She called after me.

"And the time before that, and the time before that." I mumbled under my breath.

Even though Jake said to come straight to him once I had the shipment I took my good old sweet time getting to him. I didn't want to see him. Crista was right I needed to leave him. But I didn't know how. Jake had me in a vise like grip; he knew my weaknesses and worries. When we first started dating he hadn't been like this. But people change. I sure did. In the beginning Edward had warned me against dating Jake. He said he didn't like him, he said he was hiding something. I had just told Edward to fuck off. He did. He told me that I could make my own mistakes, that when I fell from the cliff of ignorance into the cold waters of reality he would be there to say I told you so. He got over that really quick when I moved out. Ever since then all he has done when Jake is brought up in conversation is beg me to move back home. I refused. Not because I didn't want to, but because Jake would never let me.

I walked into mine and Jake's apartment building. It was old and broken down. The perfect place for him. I climbed the stairs to the second floor and unlocked our door. When I walked in the first thing I saw was him sitting on the couch watching TV. When I closed the door he snapped the TV off and got up and stormed over to me. He ripped the package from me and tossed it on the small table by our door. He grabbed my arms roughly and shook me slightly.

"Took your good old sweet time didn't you! I said come straight to me bitch!" He said releasing me and back handing me.

"Sorry." I mumbled as I felt blood start to slip down my right cheek. One of his rings had cut me.

"Stop your bleeding and then go back to work." He said quietly and calmly. His hands ran up and down my arms trying to be comforting. He was so two faced. I pulled away from him and into the bathroom. As I inspected my face in the mirror I heard him rip the paper of the package open. I rolled my eyes at his eagerness. I turned my eyes back to my reflection. The cut was under my eye and about an inch and a half long. The skin around it was puckered and raised, already forming a dark bruise. I stopped the bleeding and put some antiseptic on it. As I left the bathroom I didn't bother looking at Jacob, because I knew what he would be doing. When he got some new merchandise he always felt the need to give it a taste. I left the apartment as quickly as I could.

"I really need to leave his ass." I mumbled. I looked down at my watch and realized I had been gone for almost two hours, it was almost three. I started running back in the direction of the shop. I was almost there, just outside of Rosalie's art supply shop when I ran into someone coming out. We both fell on the ground. When I looked up I saw I had run into a girl with long brown hair.

"I am so sorry." I said starting to pick up her things. She pushed her hair out of her face and I was met with her startled brown eyes. She stood up and I handed her all of her purchases.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to scratch you. It must have been my new T square." She said waving said T square in the air.

"What?" I asked. She pointed to the scratch on my face. I raised my hand to my face, the scratch was bleeding again. Well here was a ready made excuse when Edward asked where it came from. "Oh don't worry about it I'm fine. I'm Kristi by the way." I said holding my scratched up hands. She gingerly shook it careful of her own scrapes from the fall.

"I'm Bella." She said. I noticed the Cornish T shirt she was wearing.

"You go to Cornish too?" I asked her. She looked surprised.

"Too?" She asked.

"I go to Cornish. Today's the first full day of classes. Do you have any today?" I asked. She nodded.

"From six to nine." She said.

"Me too!" We both smiled. We started talking and walking and discovered we had the same classes tonight. I asked her if she wanted to hang with me for a while before going to class. She said she did. So we headed to the shop.

"A tattoo shop?" She asked as we stopped outside of it.

"Yeah I work here. It's sort of a family business." I said holding the door open for her. She walked in with me right behind her.

"Hi welcome to The Taste of Ink! How may I help you?" Chirped a happy Alice, she hadn't seen my yet. I moved around Bella so she could.

"Cut the crap Alice she isn't a customer." I said guiding Bella behind the counter and instructing her to put her school stuff in my arm chair.

"This a friend of yours?" Alice asked surprised. I knew why. I didn't actually have friends. I had Jake. Crista could maybe be called a friend, but it's not like we hung out or anything.

"Yes, this is Bella." I said.

"Bella?" Said a voice. Emmett came out of the back room smiling.

"Emmett!" Bella exclaimed.

"Hey sis!" He said moving towards her. This was news to me. I didn't know Emmett even had a sister.

"Sister?" I asked.

"Half." Bella called from Emmett's tight embrace.

"Well ain't that just the bees knees!" I said acting like a dork. Emmett rolled his eyes and stuck his tongue out at me. I stuck mine out at him.

"What are you two?" Asked Edward as he walked out from the back room. I rolled my eyes at him. "When did you get back? Where have you been?" He asked walking over to me with a concerned look on his face. He reached his hand up and took a hold of my chin, tilting my head to get a better look at cheek. "What the hell happened? I swear to god Kristi, if he did this I'll kill him!" He said angrily.

"Chill the fuck out!" I yelled at him, wrenching myself out of his tight grip. We stared at each other angrily for a few seconds before I heard a small voice behind me.

"I'm afraid that was my fault. Kristi and I ran into each other on the street and her face met my T square." I turned to see Bella smiling nervously.

"Oh okay. Hey Bella." Edward said smiling. I froze.

"How do you know her!" I demanded.

"She's Emmett's sister doofus! I met her last week when she moved in with him to go to school here!" He said. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Don't call me a doofus, jack ass." I mumbled as I walked over to Jaspers tattoo station and started to clean it up, getting it ready for his next client which would be here soon. I could hear Bella conversing with everyone else. At least she was making fast friends. Oh wait she already knows Emmett and Edward! I guess she won't need me then.

Jasper came over and flopped down in the chair he sat in to work.

"Hey little one." He said softly as I finished with his station, shutting the drawer that now held a fresh stock of rubber gloves. I flopped down in his client seat and he turned it so it was facing towards him and away from the others. "So you want to tell me where you really got that cut and bruise from?" He asked, keeping his voice down and leaning towards me. Jasper always seemed to know. He could always tell when I lied, or if something wasn't the complete truth. Jasper I are close. I said earlier I didn't really have friends, but I suppose I could count Jasper. Our relationship kind of bothered Edward because it was the relationship he wished he had with me. He used to have this sort of thing with me but not anymore.

"Was it Jake?" He asked still more quietly. I kept my mouth shut and just looked at him. Sometimes I didn't need to say anything. If I gave him just the right look he knew what I wanted to say but couldn't. I tried to convey to him with my eyes that Jake had hurt me once again. He sighed and leaned closer.

"You need to leave him little one. You can't let him keep hurting you." I looked away from Jasper and just shook my head. He sighed as I launched myself out of the chair and moved to clean Alice's station. He just doesn't get it, none of them do. I can't leave Jacob, not unless they want to get a call in the middle of the night to come identify a body in the city morgue.


	3. Chapter 3

**Someone told me in a review that I needed to keep updating because there weren't many good tattoo Edward and Bella stories. I agree. There are very few. I just hope that mine is one of them.**

I was more than stoked to see Bella. I had met her a couple weeks ago when she moved in with Rosalie and Emmett. I remember seeing her for the first time and just feeling like my insides had melted. I had helped Emmett move all of her stuff into the spare bedroom of her apartment. That was the last time I saw her until now that is. I watched her as she spoke laughingly with Alice and Emmett, this was the first time she met Alice. A quick blur of movement on the other side of the shop caught my attention. Kristi had gotten up out of Jasper's client chair and stalked over to Alice's station, cleaning it. She looked upset, tense. I looked back at Jasper. He was watching her with a sad look. I hated when they did this. He was closer to her than I was; he was more of a brother to her than I was. I wanted that kind of relationship with her, but it didn't come naturally to us anymore. Things changed when I had to become her parent and stop being her friend and brother. She didn't like my disciplining her, or making decisions for her that I thought were best for her, hence her moving out.

I watched her as she cleaned. Her stance was stiff and she had a thoughtful but angry look on her face. Jasper caught my eye, I knew that look. It was the look he had whenever he tried to reason with her about Jacob. I knew the minute I saw her cheek that the bruised scratch didn't come from Bella. But I didn't want to make a big deal out of it in front of everyone else. Jasper tilted his head at Kristi and I nodded, walking towards her. I walked up close behind her and wrapped my arms protectively around her middle. She sighed and leaned back on me. She let the roll of paper towels in her hands drop onto the table, as she let her head rest on my shoulder. She closed her eyes and sighed again.

"Jacob did that didn't he?" I asked her quietly. She nodded. My heart broke in two as she grimaced and silent tears started rolling out from under her closed eyes. I kissed her cheek and then her forehead, turning her around. I held her tight as she buried her face into my shirt. "Leave him Kris." I said, rubbing her back. She stiffened up and pulled away from me, wiping her tears away. Her face was hard, all signs of vulnerability gone.

"Fuck off." She said and stalked away from me. "I'll be in the back taking inventory if anyone needs me!" She called to the shop at large. I watched her worriedly as she disappeared into the back. I looked around and realized everyone was watching me. Bella looked at me sadly. I gave her a questioning look but she just shook her head. I shrugged as I walked over towards her, Alice, and Emmett.

"So how exactly did you meet my sister?" I asked Bella, jumping up to sit on the counter.

"Sister?" She asked confused.

"Uh yeah sister, Kristi is my little sister." I said smiling at her.

"Oh!" She said looking ten times happier than before.

"What?" I asked.

"I just thought, based off the way you were holding her, you were together or something." She said blushing. Emmett laughed loudly. And I shook my head, making a gagging sound. She laughed a little too. Alice shook her head.

"Nope they're siblings, and I'm their cousin." She said bouncing around a bit. I shook my head at her.

"So I repeat how exactly did you meet my sister?" I asked her. She laughed a little.

"I literally ran into her outside of Rosalie's art supply store. We knocked each other down. I guess she was running down the street and I was running out of the store. I felt really bad when I saw what I did to her face." She said frowning a little. I felt like I should tell her it wasn't her fault but then again I didn't want to get on to the topic of Jacob. Whenever he was mentioned Emmett tended to break whatever he was holding and he was currently holding onto Bella.

"I'm sure she doesn't hold it against you." I said reassuringly.

"And if she does then watch out Bells. The girl can hold a grudge. And she's real scrappy; she won't hesitate to kick your shit if you get on her bad side." He said guffawing. Alice and I both reached out and smacked him on the back of the head.

"Don't scare her. Kristi wouldn't hurt Bella. You know Bella you're the only person she has ever brought to the shop, she won't even bring her boyfriend Jacob." Said Alice smiling. Emmett stiffened up and got an ugly look on his face. I looked down at the floor and Alice sighed.

"What? What's wrong?" Asked Bella. We were all quiet. Jasper stood up and walked over to Alice wrapping his arms around her. She knew she made a mistake in mentioning Jacob. Bella was looking at all of us confused. We stayed silent.

"Why don't you all stop being pussies and tell her what your problem is." Said Kristi coming out from the back. "None of them like my boyfriend Jake, they don't think he's a good guy." She said walking over to the arm chair and gathering hers and Bella's school stuff.

"Come on Bella, evening traffic's going to be a bitch we should head to Cornish now." Kristi said grabbing Bella's hand and pulling her out of the shop. We all were left just looking at each other.

"I tried convincing her again today to leave him but she's still stubborn." Said Jasper, tightening his grip on Alice.

"Yeah me too. I mean come on. He hurt her." I said sadly.

"Wait her face, Jake did that?" Emmett asked. I nodded. He yelled out angrily and turned and punched a wall. He left a dent. "Why won't she just leave him!" He yelled. "I don't understand!" He said leaning against the now damaged wall. Alice sighed.

"She can't leave him. I think she really loves him." She said. Jasper pulled away from her looking uneasy. We all looked at him. He looked like he wanted to say something.

"What Jasper?" I said hopping off the counter and looking at him. "Whatever you know you need to spit it out now." I said angrily. He sighed.

"She doesn't love him. She hasn't for a long time. I don't know why she's staying with him, but I do know she hate's him." He said looking up at me. I sighed. I pinched the bridge of my nose out of frustration. I tried to stifle my tears. My baby sister was in an abusive relationship. She was probably staying with him out of fear, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I sighed as I let my hand drop.

"If it's cool with you guys I'm getting out of here." I said. They all nodded. I grabbed my bag and practically sprinted out of the shop and to my car. I peeled away from the curb and headed to my house. This was so aggravating. It was times like this I wished I was still a drug addict. I needed something to calm me down and release all this pent up anxiety, worry, and aggression. When I got into my house I walked straight to the kitchen to get myself a drink. I grabbed a new bottle of Jack and practically ripped it open, taking a deep pull from it. I sighed as I leaned against the kitchen wall, sliding down to the floor. I just kept staring at the refrigerator opposite me, still drinking. This was seriously fucked up. It was just about six and I was already getting drunk. As a recovering drug addict I shouldn't even be drinking. But here I was. I went from being a druggie to an alcoholic. I just couldn't win. I went to take another drink but realized the bottle of Jack was empty. I sighed and stood up, placing the now empty bottle on the counter. I walked upstairs and went into a room next to my bed room. It was my studio. I walked over to my tilted art desk and snapped on the lamp. Sitting on top was a tattoo I was working on for Kristi. It was a set of wings that would span her entire back. They weren't your normal white angel wings. They were rough and black, like they may belong to a demon. The design was a surprise for her, for Christmas. Of course that was still a couple months away. She had mentioned wanting to get a back piece and I told her I would work on something for her. This was one of many possibilities I was working on for her. I sighed as I pushed all the paper aside and pulled up a fresh piece, starting to sketch randomly.

As I worked my mind turned to Bella. She had thought Kristi and I were together. That's ridiculous. She seemed a lot happier when I told her Kristi was my sister. When she smiled it was like my heart had stopped. I thought she was adorable. I wanted nothing more to take her into my arms and make her mine. But to be honest Emmett would probably have a cow.

"Moooo." I said aloud, shaking my head as I wiped away some pencil shavings.

"Mooo?" Said a female voice from behind me. I whipped around to see my sister. I straightened up as I looked at her.

"Why aren't you in class?" I asked her. She raised her eye brows at me as she walked over.

"Edward it's ten." She said. I glanced at my watch to see she was right. I had been drawing for hours. She came over to me but backed up when she caught a whiff. "You've been drinking again?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest. She knew I had struggled with drugs, and she knew I was now struggling with alcohol. I nodded. She sighed as I turned my back on her going back to my drawing. She came up close behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. I leaned back against her as I reworked some lines on the paper.

"We're pretty fucked up aren't we?" She asked me quietly. I nodded. "I wish we could go back to that." She said pointing at my picture. It was me and her. She was twelve and I was eighteen in the picture. I had it drawn from memory of a picture I had sitting on my bed side table. It was taken a couple weeks before our parents and older brother Liam died. I was standing behind her with my arms wrapped around her middle. Her little arms were resting on top of mine and she was leaning back against me. She had a large smile on her face as I nuzzled her hair, my face turned slightly away from the camera, with just as big a smile.

"That's my favorite picture of us." She said tightening her grip on me. I nodded thinking of the color photo. Her hair had been bright blue and I had pieced her lip for her a couple days before. I remembered my parents having a cow, but I had talked them into letting her keep it. One thing the drawing did have that was just like the photo was our happiness. We were never the same after everything happened. We had never gotten back to that kind of happiness.

I put my pencil down and held her hands between mine, rubbing my thumbs over her hands. She sighed from behind me and placed her fore head on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry." She said. I let her go and turned around to look at her.

"For what?" I asked confused, my alcohol seeped brain was making it hard for me to understand what she was saying and making it hard for me to focus on her face in the dim light. She looked at me for a couple of minutes.

"Never mind, I'll tell you later, when your not wasted." She said smiling. I laughed.

"Good idea." I said standing up. She followed me out of the room and to the kitchen downstairs. "Hungry?" I asked.

"Totally." She said. I turned around to say something snarky to her about her eating habits but I stopped. Upstairs the dark room had kept me from seeing her clearly. But now that we were in the brighter light of the kitchen I saw it. She had a black eye; there was a cut on her forehead in addition to the one on her cheek. Her lip was busted open. I could see hand print like bruises on her upper arms.

"What the hell happened!" I yelled. She flinched away from me.

"This is what I was apologizing for." She said not looking at me. I could feel myself shaking. I grabbed the empty Jack Daniels bottle from earlier and hurled it at the wall. She jumped even further away from me when it shattered. I looked at her angrily.

"This it Kristi! You need to leave him! You're moving back in with me!" I yelled stomping over to her and getting in her face.

"Like hell I am! He said he was sorry! He was high Edward!" She yelled back getting into my face too.

"Like that makes it any better! Being high is no excuse! You shouldn't have forgiven him; you should have packed your shit!" I yelled.

"I always forgave you." She said quietly, crossing her arms over her chest. I backed up from her, I was shaking again.

"That's different." I said.

"How!" She yelled.

"Because when I got high I never touched you! I have never done the things he does to you! That's the difference!" I yelled getting back up in her face. She slapped me.

"Fuck you." She said turning and stomping out of the kitchen. I heard the front door slam and I was left alone again. I went to the cabinet and pulled out another bottle of Jack. I opened it and drank.

"Fuck."


	4. Chapter 4

Bella and I walked quickly out of the shop. My stupid family. They all need to keep their mouths shut and their thoughts to themselves, that's what I think. What was Alice thinking? I wish she hadn't dropped Jake's name like that because now Bella is shooting me questioning looks. We walk down the street a little to her truck. It was kind of old and rusty, the red paint is chipping off, but it's still cool to me. We climb in and she starts heading for the school. We sit in silence for a couple of minutes before she speaks up.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" She asked me nervously. I look at her, she's nervously gripping the wheel and she has a worried look on her face. I stay quiet. "I mean I know we just met today and all, but it seemed like from everyone's reactions that Jake isn't a very nice person." She said glancing at me. I turned in my seat to fully face her, pulling my legs up to sit Indian style.

"They're just being over protective; I'm the baby in the family." I said, leaning back against the door. She sighed but didn't say anything else. We arrived at Cornish quicker than I thought we would. We climbed out and went to our Life Drawing class, walking silently beside each other. The class was one of our three hour ones. The teacher didn't say much other than to introduce herself and to tell us what the assignment was. We all sat around drawing some naked lady for two hours and then the teacher let us out early. Bella and I still had not said anything to one another. She had a stony look on her face. Once we go to the car park I headed in the opposite direction of her truck. I felt her grab my arm.

"Kristi where are you going?" She asked worriedly.

"I just figured with how you haven't said two words to me for the last couple hours you wanted me to leave you alone." I said shrugging. She shook her head and dragged me to her truck.

"Let's go eat somewhere." She said as I buckled myself in. I nodded. She drove away from the school into a less busy part of town. She pulled up at an old looking diner. We got out and went in where we were waited on by a woman who looked like she was 100. We were sitting in a corner booth pretty much far away from the other patrons.

"So." Bella started but she was cut off by my phone ringing. I sighed and looked at the caller ID. _Jake_ flashed on the screen. I pressed ignore and sat the phone on the table. I looked up at Bella for her to continue. "Who was it?" She asked.

"Jake." I said shrugging. She sighed.

"Listen." She said lowering her voice so much I had to lean towards her. "Like I said earlier I know I don't know you very well but please Kristi talk to me. You obviously won't talk to anyone at the shop, judging by the cold shoulder and attitude you threw at all of them." She said giving me a small smile. She wasn't being mean, she was just stating fact. I gave her a small smile back. My phone rang again.

"Jake." I mumbled pressing ignore again. Bella shook her head. "Listen to me Bella. Your right I don't know you well. And as far as talking to you, I don't open up to people, not even my brother. The only person I say anything to at all is Jasper, and he barely gets anything out of me. So I'm sorry but I don't want to talk about this with you. I think we need to get to know one another first. Alice was right when she said I don't bring people to the shop. I brought you because you seemed so sweet and sincere, and we both go to Cornish." I said smirking. Bella smiled and shook her head.

"Fine. I officially deem thee my best friend. You're not getting rid of me girl!" Said Bella laughing. I laughed too.

"I wouldn't dream of it. Honestly I really don't have any friends to speak of." I said trailing off slowly and sadly. Bella reached across the table and patted my hand. For the next hour we talked about anything and everything while we ate. Bella was really sweet. She and Emmett had the same dad, they were both from Forks. She moved in with him and his girl friend Rosalie two weeks ago. Her parents were divorced when she was three, she lived with her mom most of her life. She moved in with her dad about two years ago when her mom got remarried. We talked about things we liked to do, what our favorite art styles were, music, etc. But any time we got even remotely close to the subjects of love lives or parents I tried to keep the focus on her. I think she sensed how uncomfortable I was with the subjects.

We finally left the diner around 9 30. We had gotten out of class at 8 00 so I guess we were there for a while. While we were in the diner Jake called three more times, and each time I ignore the call. Whatever he needed it could wait, I was finally doing something for me, making a friend. I had Bella drop me off by my car which was parked near the shop.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She called through her window. We had made plans for her to come around the shop at opening. I was opening it up by myself.

"Totally!" I called to her. She waved and drove away. I climbed into my car and took off for home. Around 9 50 I got to the apartment. I stalled at the door taking a deep breath. I knew I would be in trouble. I unlocked the door and looked at the couch. He was sitting there with a stony look on his face, staring at a dark TV screen. I closed the door, putting my keys in my pocket just in case I needed a quick get-a-way. He stood up as I tossed my school stuff on the table by our door. He came up to me and pushed me against the door. He put his hands on either side of my head, caging me in.

"Were have you been? I've been calling and calling you." He said quietly, staring me down.

"Jake I was in class until 9 00." I said. I reached my hands up and ran them up and down his sides, trying to pacify him. It was when he was quiet you knew you were in trouble, kind of like the quiet before the storm.

"Well by my watch class ended 50 minutes ago. Where have you been?" He repeated.

"I went back to the shop. I left my I pod there I went back to get it." I said, making up a quick lie. "You know how far away Cornish is from the shop." I said, looping my fingers through his belt loops and pulling his hips towards mine, hoping to distract him. It worked. He smiled and bent his head down to me. He kissed me lightly on the lips. His kisses used to make me go weak in the knees, now they just make my skin crawl. But skin crawling badness none the less I pulled him closer and kept kissing him. I really didn't want him to get angry with me. He pulled his head away and smiled at me.

"Then explain going to a diner with some brown haired girl when you should have been in class." He said, his smile dropped and became a scary scowl. I froze. He saw me? That would explain all the calls. "What the hell were you doing? Huh?" He yelled in my face. I quickly let go of him and tried to run around him. He grabbed me and slammed me against the door. He didn't even give me a chance to answer. "You are really bad liar Kris." He screamed in my face as his grip got tighter and tighter on my arms. I knew I would bruise. All of a sudden he lets go of me and backs up a bit. He had a hard look on his face.

"I'll teach you to lie to me." He said. And without any further warning he hauled back and punched me in the face. His fists kept flying at my face, but as soon as it had started it stopped. I fell to my knees and he bent down in front of me taking my face in his over large hands. His expression was soft. I looked in his eyes and for the first time I noticed how big his pupils were, he was high as a kite. Although I knew that didn't make it much better. "I'm sorry baby." He said, and the look on his face actually did look remorseful. I knew better than that though, Jake was a good actor. He leaned forward and kissed me softly. "I'll get something to clean you up with." He said standing up and walking into the bathroom. As soon as he was out of sight I was out the door. I ran down stairs and didn't stop until I was in my car.

I drove well over the speed limit and didn't stop until I was at my brother's house. I slowly got out of my car and went up to the door, letting myself in using my key. I walked into the house. All was quiet. I headed upstairs thinking he was either in his room or his studio. The light was on in his studio. I looked in and saw him bent over his desk.

"Mooooo." He said. I raised my eye brow.

"Mooooo?" I said back. He whipped around in his chair to look at me. He straightened up as he looked at me.

"Why aren't you in class?" He asked. I raised my eyebrows at him as I walked over to him.

"Edward it's ten." I said. He glanced at his watch, he must have been up here for a while working if he didn't realize how late it was. I came over to him but stopped and backed up a little when I caught the strong smell of alcohol. "You've been drinking again?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. Edward was a recovering drug addict, he shouldn't be drinking. He nodded. I sighed as he turned his back on me going back to his drawing. I came up close behind him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders. He leaned back against me as he worked.

"We're pretty fucked up aren't we?" I asked quietly. He nodded. "I wish we could go back to that." I said pointing at the picture. It was me and him. I was twelve and he was eighteen in the picture. It was a drawing of a picture taken a couple weeks before our parents and older brother Liam died. He was standing behind me with his arms wrapped around my middle. My little arms were resting on top of his and I was leaning back against him. I had a large smile on my face as he nuzzled my hair, his face turned slightly away from the camera, with just as big a smile.

"That's my favorite picture of us." I said tightening my grip on him. He nodded.

He put his pencil down and held my hands between his, rubbing his thumbs over my hands. I sighed from behind him and placed my fore head on his shoulder. I knew because of the crappy lighting in the room, the one lamp beside the table, that he couldn't fully see what I looked like. I hadn't seen my reflection yet, but I knew I was probably bruised.

"I'm sorry." I said. He let me go and turned around to look at me. I froze thinking with how close we were he would be able to see my beaten face, but his eyes were slightly unfocused, I knew now he was trashed.

"For what?" He asked confused. I looked at him for a couple of minutes. I knew once we got into a lighter room he would be able to focus enough to see me clearly.

"Never mind, I'll tell you later, when you're not wasted." I said smiling. I laughed. I couldn't voice what Jacob did me. I didn't want to start crying.

"Good idea." He said standing up. I followed him out of the room and to the kitchen downstairs. "Hungry?" He asked.

"Totally." I said. He turned around to say something but he stopped. Upstairs the dark room had kept him from seeing me clearly. But now that we were in the brighter light of the kitchen I knew he saw it.

"What the hell happened!" He yelled. I flinched away from him.

"This is what I was apologizing for." I said not looking at him. He was shaking something fierce and I was scared. He grabbed the empty Jack Daniels bottle from the counter and hurled it at the wall. I jumped even further away from him when it shattered. I really didn't want to be near him if he was going to get violent.

"This is it Kristi! You need to leave him! You're moving back in with me!" He yelled stomping over to me and getting in my face. This got me angry. I was fucking eighteen. He was no longer my guardian and could no longer tell me what to do! I had to stay with Jake, if I didn't we were all dead.

"Like hell I am! He said he was sorry! He was high Edward!" I yelled back getting into his face too. I knew it was no excuse, but I needed him to get off my back. I was staying with Jake to keep us all safe.

"Like that makes it any better! Being high is no excuse! You shouldn't have forgiven him; you should have packed your shit!" He yelled. I glared at him. He had no idea how much I wished I could have packed my shit.

"I always forgave you." I said quietly, crossing my arms over my chest. He backed up from me, he was shaking again. I knew it was a low blow. I should never compare Edward to Jake. My brother was so much better than him, but I needed him to drop it.

"That's different." He said.

"How!" I yelled, trying to egg him on so he would yell some more and I would have an excuse to leave.

"Because when I got high I never touched you! I have never done the things he does to you! That's the difference!" He yelled getting back up in my face. I slapped him. I slapped him because I knew he was right. I slapped him because I wanted him to say he was done with me. I slapped him to try and save him.

"Fuck you." I said turning and stomping out of the kitchen. I slammed the front door on my way out, leaving him alone. I got into the car and drove as slowly as I could back to my apartment. I don't even know why I went to Edward in the first place. I guess there is something about being with my brother that made me feel safe.

When I got back home Jake was laying on the couch with his eyes closed. I had to distract him from the fact I had left. He opened his eyes and was about to get up when I walked over to him and climbed on top of him. I kissed him hard, sticking my tongue in his mouth. He reacted immediately. He ran his hands over my behind, grasping it. I ground into him as I ran my hands up under his shirt. This was usually my diversionary tactic when I didn't want to get in trouble.

I pulled his shirt of as he undid my jeans. I kicked them off as I started kissing down his jaw and neck to his chest. He pulled my shirt off as I practically ripped his jeans off of him. He picked me up and carried me into our bedroom, our mouths never loosing contact. I knew when we were done I would feel dirty. I knew I would take a million and one showers trying to get the feel of him off of me. But this is what I needed to do, I knew someday he wouldn't be able to stop himself and he would kill me. And I just couldn't let that happen. Not for my sake, at this point I would welcome death, but for the sake of my family. I don't want them to hurt more than they need to. Although I knew I was hurting them already just by being with him.


	5. Chapter 5

_There is blood everywhere; there are bullet holes in their heads. The horrified screams die on my lips as a loud beeping fills my ears._ Yet again I roll over and slam my hand down on the alarm clock, grateful for its timely interruption. I roll over onto my back and cover my face with my hands. A sense of déjà vu takes over. It seemed like every day I woke up like this. I laid there in my bed just staring at the ceiling, my mind slipping to last night. After Kristi had left I practically destroyed the kitchen. After which I drank another whole bottle of Jack. I couldn't remember getting into my pajamas or climbing into bed, but apparently I had managed it. I rolled out of bed only to have my legs turn to jelly. I hit the ground hard. I grunted and pushed myself up off the floor. I dragged myself into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I looked extremely tired and sick. My skin was really pale, more so than usual, and I had dark circles under my eyes. I looked like I hadn't slept, and I looked like I had a hangover, which I did. I didn't have any appointments today, and since I owned the shop and was my own boss I decided I wouldn't go to work today. I needed to call in though. I didn't move though. I just kept staring at myself. As I moved my angel bites and center lip ring glinted in the light. My bronze hair, so much like my sisters, was disheveled and messy. The circles under my eyes were starting to look like bruises instead of the shadows of fretful sleep. All in all I looked like shit. I sighed as I walked back into the bedroom and flopped down on my bed. I grabbed my phone from where it sat by my alarm clock and looked at it.

"Who was supposed to open up shop today?" I wondered aloud. It took me a couple minutes to realize it was my sister. I sighed. I really didn't want to deal with her right now. I knew I hadn't handled last night very well. I should have been better. I should have been caring. I should have made her feel safe. If I had done that, if I had stayed calm and reasoned with her maybe she would have stayed with me last night. Maybe she would have decided to leave Jake. Instead I got angry and violent, throwing things around and getting in her face. I took a couple minutes of bolstering my confidence before I dialed the shop. I hoped someone else would pick it up, by now Alice and Jasper would be at the shop as well.

"Hello?" Said a familiar yet unfamiliar voice. "You've reached The Taste of Ink how may I help you?" Said the beautiful voice, then it dawned on me who it was.

"Bella?" I asked. Why would Bella be answering our phone, where was Kristi? Why was she at the shop?

"Yes." She said. I laughed a little.

"Bella its Edward." I said.

"Hey Edward. What's up!" She asked her voice perking up a little. I smiled.

"Um I need you to let everyone know I won't be in today." I said, my voice becoming subdued.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" She said her voice becoming worried and panicky. I smiled slightly.

"I'm fine." I said. I could hear someone talking in the back ground, I heard the phone pass hands and then Alice's voice came on.

"What's wrong? Why aren't you coming in?" She said demandingly. I sighed.

"Alice." I said weakly. She sighed.

"The dream again?" She asked quietly.

"That's partially it." I mumbled.

"Did you drink too much last night? Kristi said she went to see you." She said her voice was getting quieter. I sighed.

"Yeah she did. Did she happen to mention what happened?" I asked, Alice sighed.

"No. But I think we all can guess what happened." She said sadly her voice returning to normal volume.

"Yeah I know."

"She wouldn't say anything about anything. All she said was it was none of our business. I asked her what she was going to do when you got here but she said you already saw her last night, so…" Alice said trailing off. I could hear another voice in the back ground. _Give me the phone_. It said. Alice sighed and handed off the phone.

"Yo bro." The voice said.

"Kristi." I said.

"Stop being a loser and get your ass to work." She said laughingly. This got me angry.

"How can you act like this? Like everything is okay? How can you act like you didn't get your face beat in last night, and act like we didn't fight last night?" I asked angrily.

"Someone called for you already, you have an appointment." She said completely ignoring what I had just said.

"Kristi." I said warningly.

"It's at three." She said getting quieter. She knew I was upset with her. I sighed.

"You take it alright? You need the practice." I said my voice going from really soft to teasing. I forced a laugh. I didn't want her to think I was mad at her even though I was. She laughed too, and it too sounded forced.

"Yeah alright I will." She said. "Talk to you later?" She asked, unsure of herself.

"Yeah. I love you." I said quietly. There was silence for a couple of seconds. I wasn't sure she would say it back, I was so sure she would just say bye and hang up. But she surprised me.

"I love you too." She sadly, it sounded like she was trying not to cry. I was shocked to say the least; we hardly ever said that we loved each other. Not anymore anyway. She was quiet and so was I. I think she was just as surprised as I was at her words.

"Don't cry kiddo." I said softly, trying to push my own tears down.

"I'm sorry about last night." She mumbled into the phone, I knew she was crying now. I could hear Alice's voice; she was trying to console her.

"I'm sorry too. Do you have class tonight?" I asked her softly.

"No just Monday's, Wednesday's, and Friday's." She said trying not to sob.

"Shhh Kristi shhhh." I said to her. "Since you don't have class I want you to come over today after work." I said.

"Alright." She said, finally sounding like she had her breathing and tears under control.

"I'll see you later than." She said. I nodded and then realized she couldn't see me.

"Yes you will. I love you." I said again.

"I love you too Ed. Bye." She said.

"Bye." I said. I kept listening as she hung up and after a few seconds the dial tone came on. I shut my phone and put it back beside my clock. Maybe we were finally getting somewhere. We hadn't said I love you to one another in years.

I pushed myself off the bed and headed down stairs. I glanced at the microwave's clock as I walked into the kitchen. It was almost noon. I had slept really late again. I dodged all the glass from the broken cups and plates and the splintered wood of the chair I had split last night. Some of my cabinets were broken and there was a dent in the refrigerator door where I had punched it. I looked down at my hand and saw it was bruised, and looked like I had split some of the skin over my knuckles. I opened a not broken cabinet and pulled out some coffee beans. I started making my coffee, going on auto pilot. I hadn't realized how long I had been standing there until I heard the percolator beep; I had a full pot of coffee. I shook my head trying to get rid of my daze. I pulled a mug out. I paused to look at it. It was a mug my sister had made in middle school when she took a pottery class. It was tall and deep, smaller bowel like than mug like even though it did have a mug handle. She had painted the outside of it in dark colors. Even at that young age she was an amazing painter, much better than I would ever be. The scene was a mish mash of Nightmare before Christmas, one of our favorite movies to watch together. She had given me the mug for our first Christmas together, after our parents and Liam died.

I filled the mug halfway with my coffee. I then reached into another cabinet, pulled out a bottle of jack and poured some of it in as well. I sighed as I took my mug out to the living room and sat on the couch. I picked up the remote and turned on the TV. I flipped through the channels for a little bit before landing on the movie channel. It was an all day Tim Burton-a-thon. I smiled as the opening music to Nightmare started.

"I am so not moving from this couch today." I mumbled as I sipped my coffee and Jack.

I stayed true to my word only moving during commercials to go to the bathroom and to get more "coffee." After Nightmare they played Corpse bride, Coraline, 9, James and the Giant Peach, Beetle juice, Edward scissor hands, and then Alice in Wonderland. After Alice they cycled back to Nightmare. The opening music was starting again when I heard my front door open and two voices called my name.

"In here." I called. Alice and Kristi walked in. I glanced at my watch it was just after 9 30 which meant the shop was closed. I watched as Kristi's face lit up as she saw what I was watching. She ran over to the couch flopping down beside me, squealing excitedly. For a second memories of when she was younger came flooding in. I remembered how excited she used to get when we would watch this movie.

"Our favorite!" She exclaimed, looking at me. I was brought back to reality when I saw her bruises had gotten darker in the time since I had last seen her. My smile fell and she noticed. She grabbed my mug off the coffee table.

"My mug!" She exclaimed trying to distract me. She took a sip from the mug, grimacing when she realized it wasn't just coffee. She rolled her eyes at me as she placed the mug back on the table and kicked her shoes off. I saw Alice sit down on the other side of Kristi; she kicked her shoes off as well. I put my feet up on the table, settling in to watch all the movies again, as I knew Kristi and Alice would definitely want to. We were all big Tim Burton fans. Kristi pulled her feet up onto the couch and leaned into my side. I wrapped my arm tightly around her shoulders as she placed her head on my chest, getting comfortable. Alice, not one to be left out kicked her feet up into Kristi's lap, slouching down into the pillow she was leaning against. We didn't speak, just watched. I felt myself smiling. I hadn't spent quality time like this with either of them in a long time, not since Kristi and I moved out of Uncle Carlisle, Aunt Esme, and Alice's house all those years ago. This was good. This was very good.


	6. Chapter 6

I groaned and tried to roll over but a very warm and strong arm pulled me back. I felt my bare back come up against a very naked and muscled chest. I opened my eyes then. I realized where I was. I realized what I had done last night. I shuttered a little.

"Cold baby?" Asked Jacob sleepily as he pulled me closer. He ran his hand up and down over my stomach in an attempt to warm me. I felt him shift a little and then felt him kiss my shoulder and then my neck. "How about a repeat of last night?" He asked huskily. I could feel him pressing his morning wood against my back side. I quickly pulled away and jumped off the bed.

"Can't I have to go to the shop; I'm opening it up today." I said walking into our bathroom. I could hear his frustrated sigh from here. I heard the bed springs creak and heard his footsteps coming closer. He came into the bathroom and wrapped his arms around my bare torso. He rested his chin on my shoulder and looked at me in the mirror.

"Do you have to?" He asked frowning. It was almost cute. But then I caught sight of my face for the first time since he beat me. I looked horrible. I wasn't going to let him fool me, he was a major manipulator. I knew he hated that I worked, it was the one place he wasn't willing to follow me, mainly because I had Edward, Emmett, and Jasper to watch out for me. He couldn't control me or hurt me at work. He bent his head and started kissing my shoulder. He moved up my neck and then started sucking on the sensitive skin behind my ear. Despite my hating him, despite the fact I really didn't want to do this right now, my body reacted and I moaned. I saw him smirk in the mirror as he bit my ear. I couldn't stop myself. I pushed my back side against him, meeting his morning hard on. He quickly turned me around and picked me up, placing me on the counter. He was kissing me all over while I tried to get a grip on myself. Finally I found the strength.

"Stop Jake! I need to get ready for work." I said pushing him away from me and hopping off the counter. I quickly moved out of the bathroom and into our bedroom. I walked over to our dresser and started rummaging for clothes. He sighed. I glanced over and saw him watching me from his position leaning up against the bathroom door jam. He was practically eye fucking me, but it was definitely one sided. I quickly pulled on a bra and a pair of boy shorts. His eyes paused one my chest as it was pushed up by my bra. I rolled my eyes. I pulled out a purple V neck T shirt and pulled it on while. I bent over to find a pair of pants when I felt him behind me. He pressed up against me. The boy would just not give up and accept defeat. I stood up straight and he wrapped his arms around my torso.

"Baby. You know I love you right?" He said condescendingly. I nodded as his grip tightened considerably to the point where it was starting to hurt. "And you know what happened last night before you so rudely left will never happen again?" He mumbled into my hair, his grip becoming tighter still. I could feel the tears slipping down my cheeks as I nodded again. He flipped me around and brought me roughly against him. "Good." He said smirking. He kissed me roughly, bruising my already split lip. "Now why don't you be a good girl and maybe then I will let you leave for work." He said. He phrased it like a question, but I knew I had no choice. I nodded. The tears kept coming as he stripped the clothes I had only just put on back off.

Thirty minutes later I was leaving the apartment showered and dressed. I was going to be a little late opening the shop and I hoped Bella wasn't waiting for me too long. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. I was hurting, he hadn't been nice. He didn't like me telling him no. As he so nicely reminded me this morning right after he finished with me, I was there for his use. I had no right to tell him no. I sighed as I shifted again, he really hurt me. I pulled up in front of the shop and hopped out of the car. Bella was sitting on the front steps.

"I am so sorry Bells! I hope you haven't been waiting long!" I called to her as I walked up, slinging my back pack over my shoulder. Her smile fell when she got a good look at my face and arms. I knew I had a black eye and my lip was busted. And I knew I had hand prints on my arms. What she couldn't see were the new hand prints on my hips. I wasn't going to let anyone see those. For one I knew Edward would flip his shit if he knew I let Jake hurt me…again.

When I reached Bella she reached up her hand and ran her finger under the eye that was all black and blue.

"What happened?" She asked. I pulled away from her feather soft touch. I couldn't keep a clear head if she was touching me and acting all older sister like to me. I moved around her and pulled out my keys to unlock the door. I was running late the shop should have been opened up at ten so I could get the stations ready for the day and clean up but instead it was almost eleven. "Kristi?" Bella called. I opened the door, ignoring her, and walked in the shop. She entered behind me and closed the door. I walked behind the counter and put my back pack in my arm chair. I started pulling things out from under the counter, like the appointment book and the cordless phone. I started fiddling with the pages of the book. Bella walked up in front of me on the other side of the counter. She grabbed my hands, holding them still. I looked up at her.

"What happened?" She asked seriously. I stared at her, trying to quickly come up with a lie.

"I fell down the stairs." I said lamely. She released one of my hands. Her hand moved to my arm where she placed her hand over the hand print there. It was considerably bigger then hers but I knew she knew what it was.

"Yeah right, why don't you try that again?" She said releasing me. I quickly took a step back, moving out of reaching distance.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head. Trust me, I fell down the stairs." I said crossing my arms and smirking at her. She rolled her eyes at me.

"Like I believe that." She said. I was starting to get angry. I mean I know Bella and I had become fast friends, and she was really the only friend I had outside my family here at the shop, but she still didn't know me.

"Just back off, it's none of your business." I said huffily. I started moving to Emmett's pig sty of a station to clean it up but she got in my way. She gently placed her hands on my shoulders and I stopped. I was shaking, trying to hold in my tears. I was upset. I knew she meant well, but I didn't want to load her down with this.

"Kristi, please. Talk to me." She said. I shook my head and moved around her, starting to clean Emmett's station. She sighed. I could feel her eyes burning holes into my back.

"Fine. I will let this drop." I visibly relaxed. "For now." She said. I sighed and shook my head. "Is there anything you would like me to do?" She asked as Alice and Jasper came into the shop.

"You want to man the phone and appointment book for a little while?" I asked her, keeping my back to her Alice and Jasper who were putting stuff on their art table.

"Sure." She said. I listened as she said her good mornings to the other two and sat down in my chair.

"Bella be a dear and see if I have any appointments today?" Said Alice.

"Oh me too!" Said Jasper. I shook my head, a faint smile on my lips. She was already falling into place in our little shop family.

"Sure." She said. I heard the appointment books pages rustle. I moved to the next station beside Emmett's which was Japers. I made sure to keep my back to them. "Alice you have an appointment at 12 30 and at 3 00. And Jasper you have one today at 2 45." Bella said. They thanked her sweetly. They went about putting things on their table. I wasn't paying attention to them anymore though. I was going on auto pilot cleaning up Jasper's station. I was about to move to Alice's, across from Jasper's, when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist from behind me.

"Hey little one." Said Jasper in his southern drawl. "Good mornin'." He said.

"Morning." I said. I turned a little to my right and tried pulling away from him to move to Alice's station. I knew I couldn't keep my back to everyone all day but I could fucking try. He didn't let me go so I pulled harder, fighting him a little. He released me and I moved to clean up Alice's station.

"What's wrong?" Said Jasper worriedly. I heard Bella and Alice stop talking, they were listening now.

"Nothing." I said defensively, still keeping my back to everyone. He walked up to me and in one quick movement flipped me around to face him. He reacted instantly. He backed up a horrified look on his face. His expression quickly changed to anger as Alice gasped. His fists clenched open and closed and his face was getting red. He took a couple more steps back from me. He gripped his station table as he sat down on it. Alice walked slowly over to me. Bella stayed where she was, having already gone through this with me. Alice stopped a couple feet away from me.

"What happened?" She said. I shook my head.

"Nothing, I fell down the stairs." I said.

"Bullshit!" Yelled Jasper. I flinched and took a step back. His expression softened when he saw this. "You're a horrible liar." He said quietly. I remembered Jake saying those exact words to me the night before. This made me angry.

"Fuck off okay! It's none of your fucking business! Any of you!" I yelled. He jumped off the table and walked quickly up to me. I thought he was going to hit me so I closed my eyes and flinched away, trying to protect myself. But then I felt his calloused but gentle hands on my cheeks. He moved me gently to face him and I opened my eyes. He was crying.

"How can you say that? How can you tell us to fuck off, tell me to fuck off? How can you say it's not my business? We all love you Kristi. You're our family; your business is our business." He said. I knew he was trying to be the kind and loving old brother, something Edward was definitely not last night, but right now I didn't care. My lying, however lame it was, was necessary for everyone's safety. I pulled away from him and stalked over to Edwards' station to clean it up too.

"Don't." Was all I said. He sighed from behind me and I heard him flop into his client chair.

"Kristi?" Said Alice timidly as I finished Edwards's station. His always went the quickest because he wasn't a complete slob like the others. I heard the phone ring and Bella picked it up, talking to the customer. I turned to Alice.

"What?" I asked. I flopped down into Edward's client chair, leaning back, getting comfortable. I put the foot rest up.

"What about Edward?" She asked uncomfortably.

"What _about _Edward?" I asked being a smart ass; I knew exactly what she meant. I watched Bella as she hung up the phone and wrote something in the appointment book.

"What are you going to tell him when he gets here?" She asked.

"Nothing." I said. Bella looked up from the book.

"Nothing?" She asked. I nodded.

"And why not?" Asked Alice.

"Because he's already seen me." I said closing my eyes. Everything was silent for a couple of minutes.

"How did he take it?" Jasper asked. I snorted.

"How do you think?" I said opening my eyes to look at him. They all stayed quiet.

"Well where is he anyway, that was a client wanting an appointment with him. It's the only one he has today; they'll be here around three." Bella said. I snorted as I stood up.

"He's probably hung over." I said condescendingly. Bella just looked at me confused. I just shook my head at her as the phone rang again. Jasper and Alice went to their stations as she answered it and I moved to Edward's art desk, digging for my I pod and sketch book.

"Hello? You've reached The Taste of Ink how may I help you?" Bella said. She paused as the person spoke. "Yes." She said. I was shutting my drawer in Edwards desk having found my stuff finally when she spoke again.

"Hey Edward. What's up!" She asked her voice perking up a little. I raised my eye brow. She always gets happy when she hears or sees Edward. I smirked. I think I need to play matchmaker. She listened to his response, which must not have been a good one.

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" She said her voice becoming worried and panicky. I glanced at her. Alice walked over to her.

"Let me talk to him sweetie." Said Alice. Bella handed her the phone and got out of my chair and walked over to me and slipped her hand into mine.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I don't know." She said. I squeezed her hand and pulled her over to stand by Alice.

"What's wrong? Why aren't you coming in?" Said Alice demandingly. I snickered and she shot me a glare. Edward said something and she sighed.

"The dream again?" She asked quietly. I rolled my eyes. It was the same old shit. Edward and I both have had similar recurring dreams over the years.

"Did you drink too much last night? Kristi said she went to see you." She said her voice was getting quieter. Alice paused.

"No. But I think we all can guess what happened." She said sadly her voice returning to normal volume. She looked at me as I hopped up onto the counter, Bella leaning against it beside me.

"She wouldn't say anything about anything. All she said was it was none of our business. I asked her what she was going to do when you got here but she said you already saw her last night, so…" Alice said trailing off. I had had enough of this.

"Give me the phone." I said. Alice handed it to me and sat down in my arm chair. Jasper got up and walked over, hopping up on his and Alice's art table.

"Yo bro." I said.

"Kristi." He said.

"Stop being a loser and get your ass to work." I said laughingly. I knew the laughs were fake but he needed to stop moping and get his ass to work.

"How can you act like this? Like everything is okay? How can you act like you didn't get your face beat in last night, and act like we didn't fight last night?" He asked angrily.

"Someone called for you already, you have an appointment." I said completely ignoring what he had just said.

"Kristi." He said warningly.

"It's at three." I said getting quieter. I knew he was upset with me. He sighed. I knew I was making this all really hard on him.

"You take it alright? You need the practice." He said his voice going from really soft to teasing. He forced a laugh. I forced one out too for good measure.

"Yeah alright I will." I said. "Talk to you later?" I asked, unsure of myself.

"Yeah. I love you." He said quietly. I wasn't sure how to respond. We hadn't said I love you to each other in a long long time. I forced myself to speak.

"I love you too." I said sadly. I had started to cry. Bella wrapped her arm around me, Alice patted my knee, and Jasper knelt down resting his hands and head on my lap. My free hand immediately moved to his hair. I was shocked, surprised at myself. I had said the words without even thinking.

"Don't cry kiddo." He said softly, it sounded like he was trying not to cry now.

"I'm sorry about last night." I mumbled into the phone. Alice started speaking comforting words to me.

"I'm sorry too. Do you have class tonight?" He asked softly.

"No just Monday's, Wednesday's, and Friday's." I said trying not to sob.

"Shhh Kristi shhhh." He said. "Since you don't have class I want you to come over today after work." I nodded but then realized he couldn't see me.

"Alright." I said, finally getting my breathing and tears under control.

"I'll see you later than." I said.

"Yes you will. I love you." He said again.

"I love you too Ed. Bye." I said.

"Bye." He said. I pressed the end button. Bella slowly took the phone out of my hand. Jasper stood up and pulled me off the counter, Bella's arm and Alice's hand falling away. He pulled me into a tight hug as my tears came back. I heard the bell over the door sound but I ignored it.

"What's going on?" Came Emmett's voice. I pulled away from Jasper sucking up my tears, and turned to look at him. He dropped his back pack and his mouth fell open. He started walking slowly to me. I moved around the counter and met him half way. He was in shock. He placed a gentle hand on my cheek. And then all of a sudden he pulled away, spun around, and punched his hand through the glass of the door. I quickly stumbled back, falling into the counter. Bella grabbed me and steadied me, still sitting on said counter. I hopped over it quickly moving all the way to the back of the room by Edward's desk. Emmett was yelling out of anger and pain now. Jasper stepped up to him and started trying to calm him down. When he was finally okay he looked around and found me. I was scared and cowering against the back wall. I mean Edward had gotten violent last night, throwing shit, but not as bad as Emmett.

"I'm sorry." He said to me. I nodded and pushed off the wall. He came around the counter as I walked up. He pulled me into a one armed hug, keeping his bleeding hand away from me. Alice moved to start cleaning up the glass. When he let me go I flopped down into my arm chair.

"What happened?" He asked. I rolled my eyes. Here we go again. The rest of the day wasn't so bad. I told Emmett the same shit I told the others, which just upset him again. He chilled out enough for Jasper to take him to the ER to get all the glass removed from his hand though. I handled Edward's appointment at three. I joked with the guy, who was a regular, saying I had gotten into a bar fight. He said he would hate to see the other guy, he knew I could be really scrappy. If he only_ really_ knew. At the end of the day Alice and I locked up and then went to Edwards. When we got there he was watching the Tim Burton-a-thon I knew was on the movie channel today. We all settled down to watch it. It was maybe three o'clock in the morning when the last movie, Alice in Wonderland, finally ended. Our Alice was in her own wonderland fast asleep when Edward turned to me.

"So. How was your day?" He asked. I groaned and just flopped across his lap.

"That good huh?" He said smiling.

"You have no idea." I said sarcastically.


	7. Chapter 7

"You have no idea." She said sarcastically. I just laughed and shook my head.

"Thanks you captain obvious, of course I have no idea. I wasn't at work." I said, my grin getting wider. She stuck her tongue out at me which made me laugh. This was nice. I hadn't hung out with her in a while, and we certainly hadn't bantered back in forth like this in a while. She got more comfortable, shifting so her head was resting in the middle of my lap and her feet were tossed across Alice's lap, who was slumped a little but still sitting in a normal position. She closed her eyes as I placed my hand on her forehead, brushing the hair out of her face. We were quiet.

"So…Why was Bella at the shop today?" I asked casually. She cracked her eyes open to look at me. I watched as a shit eating grin spread across her face.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" She said throwing in a slightly evil cackle for good measure. I shook my head at her. "You'll be happy to know she will be there again tomorrow…Well today." She said checking the time on her phone; it was just after three am. I tried hiding it but a smile broke out on my face. She smiled a real smile at me. I noticed what people said about us, the family resemblance was in our smile. Sure we had the same hair and eyes, but our actual features didn't look alike. But we both had our dad's crooked smile. She laughed a little and I realized we both even had the same laugh, our mother's laugh. I just smiled wider at her. She calmed a little and reached her hand up, running a finger over my forehead and then down my nose, over my angel bites, around my mouth and down my chin. She let her hand drop as her smile dropped a little.

"You like Bella." She said. It wasn't a question. I stayed quiet, looking at her, wondering where she was going with this. "I think she likes you too. Practically jizz's out of excitement every time she sees' you or hears you." Kristi said. I laugh hard at that. That was definitely my sister for you; she had to put it the crudest way possible. Kristi slaps my chest to get me to be quiet because Alice is still sleeping.

"You're something else." I mumble letting my head drop onto the back of the couch.

"Yeah but you love me." She mumbles as her phone rings. I pick my head up and smile at her to see she is smiling too. She answers the phone quickly, without looking at the screen.

"Hello?" She asks.

….

"Hello?" I ask as I pick up the phone, still smiling at my brother. My smile drops when the caller responds.

"Where the hell are you?" He says.

"Jake." I say quietly. Edward's jaw clenches and his hand moves to grip my free one tightly. He's angry as all hell.

"Answer the question Kris. Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing?" He asks quietly. Oh god I was in trouble. I knew a panicked look was coming on my face. Edward squeezed my hand reassuringly. I quickly calmed myself down and looked at my brother. His eyes were practically begging me to fight back.

"Why the hell do you care?" I said ferociously back. This would have been my normal answer had it been anyone else but Jake, so I suppose I was shooting for normal. "I'm at my brother's house. Okay? I'm hanging out with him!" I said angrily. I could feel Edwards grip on my hand loosen a little and he had a slight smile on his face.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, or so help me Kristi I will beat you senseless. Now get your ass out of there, I need you to do something for me." He said his voice was getting quieter which meant he was pissed. I rolled my eyes. "It's the normal spot." He said, like I was actually going to go and do it.

"Jake I am not going to run an 'errand' for you right now! It's three in the morning. I'm staying where I am with Edward, you go do it!" I growled into the phone. I heard him sigh.

"Baby just go do it, it's Crista. You like Crista, and Crista doesn't like me." He said, I'm willing to bet he was pouting too. He was such a baby.

"No, I don't care. I'm staying where I am." I said. Edward had a large smile on his face, like Christmas had come early.

"Kristi Elizabeth, you will do as I say." He said in a deadly quiet voice. I froze, all the fire going out of me. "You will go right now and get the delivery. Then you will bring it straight to me." He said his voice was a dangerous low. I swallowed hard as Edward's smile started to drop. I scowled at that, I preferred making him smile.

"Fine!" I yelled into the phone. "But after I'm done being your fucking gopher I'm going back to Edwards!" I said and then I hung up on him. I sighed as I closed my eyes and my hand slipped up to cover my face.

"You're leaving?" Edward asked.

"Yeah." I said as I sat up. I realized Alice was awake; I must have woken her with my yelling.

"But you'll be back?" Asked Alice worriedly. I nodded.

"Yes I will." I said with conviction. That made her smile. I slipped my shoes on and stood up. I started heading for the door when Edward grabbed my hand. I turned to see he had stood up and was looking at me worriedly.

"Kristi what errand does Jake want you to run at three am? Can't it wait?" He asked. I shook my head, pulling my arm out of his grasp.

"No I have to do this now." I said stepping closer to him. I placed a comforting hand on his arm. "I'll be back soon." I said. I reached up and kissed his chin because that was all I could reach. I went to pull away but he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me. I hugged him back but didn't linger. The sooner I left the sooner I could get back. I ran out of the house not bothering to take my car. If there was ever a bust I didn't want the car, or my license plate for that matter, to get traced back to me. I needed to be able to run and hide in places cars couldn't go.

….

"What the hell kind of errand can she be running for him now?" Said Alice angrily, watching Kristi run out of the room. The front door slammed behind her. I sighed and flopped back down on the couch.

"I have an idea." I said.

"Care to share?" She asked, pulling her legs up onto the couch, sitting Indian style.

"Well honestly what do you think she's doing! She said she was being his gopher. And with Jake that probably means only one thing." I said raising my eye brow at her. Alice sighed.

"Yeah I know your theory about him and drugs, but she has never said anything to confirm that." She said.  
"Yes she has! Last night she said something to me." I said. Alice perked up.

"What! What did she say?" She asked.

"Well we were arguing about Jake, I knew he was the one who did that to her, she practically told me he did. Just not in those exact words. She said He apologized. He was high." I said. Alice's eyes got wide.

"I can't believe she actually said it was him. I can't believe she actually said he was high. Like that makes it any better." She said.

"I know that's what I said. But anyway, this just means he is a druggie. And a lot of druggie's are dealers too." I said uncomfortably, shifting in my seat. Alice shot me a knowing look. I tried to keep the focus on Kristi; we weren't getting into my less than perfect past right now. "This errand is probably her picking up some drugs for him, whether they're for his use or for profit is something yet to be seen." I said. Alice sighed again.

"She could get in serious trouble." She said. I nodded. "You would think she would have learned." Alice said shooting me another knowing look. I glared at her.

"Ya think!" I said angrily. We were not going to talk about my record right now. She rolled her eyes.

"Oh Edward chill out." Was all she said. I rolled my eyes back at her. A couple months after our parents died I was busted for possession and intent to sell. Needless to say that sucked. Luckily Uncle Carlisle bought me a deal. "I'm just worried about her." She said. I nodded. I was too.

….

I was still running when I got to the alley. I jumped over trash cans and dodged debris.

"Crista!" I called as I reached the dead end. She jumped and turned to see me.

"What are you doing here!" She hissed.  
"Selling fucking girl scout cookies." I said sarcastically as I walked up to her, stepping into the pool of light that a street lamp on the other side of the wall casted.

"Did he do that to you?" She asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Just give me the delivery." I said reaching out for the brown paper wrapped object in her hands. She pulled it out of my reach, giving me a look that said explain. "Yes okay! He did this to me." I said snatching the package out of her hands.

"I thought I told you to leave him." She said sadly.

"When have I ever listened to you?" I asked as I turned and started running back to the main street. I turned right as I came to the opening and headed for mine and Jake's apartment. I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. I kept running until I got to our apartment. I ran up the stairs and burst through the door. What I saw shocked me. Jake was making out with some blonde bimbo on our couch. I knew I had an ugly look on my face because he actually flinched when he saw me.

"What the hell is going on!" I yelled. Jake got up and walked slowly up to me his hands were held up like he was trying to calm me.

"Baby, relax." He said patronizingly sweetly. I rolled my eyes at him. I shoved his drugs into his chest.

"Don't you tell me to relax!" I said. He placed his package on the table by our door. He started running his hands up and down my arms in what he probably thought was a soothing manner. I could see over his shoulder that the bimbo was glaring at me. I rolled my eyes again.

"Relax, it's just business." He said trying to kiss me. I pulled away; I didn't want him to kiss me.

"Don't, I don't know where your mouth has been." I said smirking at him. He sighed. "Business? What are you pimping now? You going to start pimping me out too!" I said angrily. He glared at me and grabbed me and pushed me against the wall by the door. He ground his hips into mine as he spoke.

"I would never pimp you out. You belong to me, and only me. No one else had better be touching you." He said quietly, angrily.

"Oh and you can fuck around with any girl you want?" I asked at a normal level, trying to push him away from me. He just pushed closer to me, his front flat up against my front. He leaned his head down to whisper to me.

"You belong to me, but I don't belong to you." He said. I froze. If there was one thing I had been sure of it was that he was completely mine. At least I thought he had been.

"Go away." I said pushing him away from me. "I'm going back to Edward's." I said turning away from him. Hr grabbed my arm and roughly turned me around.

"No you're not!" He yelled in my face.

"Yes I am! I am spending the rest of the night at Edward's, then I am going to work, and then I am going to school." I said. He scowled at me. These were all places he could not follow.

"Fine." He said surprising me. His grip tightened and a warning and dangerous quiet leaked into his voice. "Go to your brothers, go to work, and then go to school and then you will come straight home. To me." He said jerking my arm a little. "You got that?" He asked. I nodded and he released me. "Now go on get out of here." He said, his voice changing to his fake loving boyfriend voice. "I have some business to finish here." He said rubbing my back. I tried not to scream at him as he leaned down and kissed me lightly on the lips. He pushed me out the door and closed it behind me; I could hear the bimbo laughing. I rolled my eyes as I ran down the stairs and out onto the street.

When I got back to Edwards it was to find that Alice and Edward were still awake, laughing and talking.

"Hey." I said as they both stood up. They looked surprised.

"You came back." Said Alice.

"I said I would." I said turning and heading for the kitchen.

"Yes you did." Said Edward shooting a look at Alice.

"Dude what the hell happened to your kitchen." I yelled as I climbed over debris. They followed me in, stopping in the door way. I climbed up onto the counter on my knees. I opened a cabinet and pulled out a half full bottle of Jack. I rolled my eyes as I turned around to sit on the counter; one leg pulled up to my chest the other hanging off the counter. This must have been what he was putting in his coffee, all day by the looks of it.

"Kristi your underage." Said Edward with a frown.

"When has that ever stopped me before?" I asked smirking. They stood there watching me as I chugged the rest of the bottle. I stared at the empty bottle for a second before angrily throwing it at the ground just below me.

"I am so sick and tired of Jacob!" I yelled making them both jump.

"What happened?" Asked Alice.

"I ran to do his little errand. And when I went to drop off his little package I found him making out with some dumb bimbo bitch!" I yelled out. I reached into the cabinet again and pulled out a new bottle. Alice shot Edward a look as I twisted the top off. "I'm so tired of his ass! Do you know what he said to me! That I belong to him, but he doesn't belong to me! How fucked up is that! He knows how much I hate double standards." I said as I drank. I could feel myself becoming quickly inebriated. I never did hold my liquor well.

"Then leave him." Said Edward. My head snapped up to look at him.

"No I can't." I said.

"And why not!" He said angrily. Alice looked at him like she wanted to say I told you so. They were probably talking about me while I was gone. Wouldn't be the first time.

"Know your roll Eddie, know your roll." I said cryptically, taking another drink.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He yelled.

"It means I don't have a choice! I'm his gopher, his dog, his sex slave, and his punching bag, that's it! Know your roll! I can't just fucking leave him, you heard what I said. I belong to him." I said taking another drink. Edward snorted.

"No you don't. You don't have to stay with him." He said.

"Yes I do! I have to. If I don't me and you and Alice and everyone else is in trouble." I said. He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah right what's he going to do? Just leave him." He pleaded.

"I can't! God what are you deaf! Are you not hearing what I'm saying! DO I NEED TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU!" I yelled.

"Yeah Kristi spell it out for me because I'm obviously missing something!" He yelled back.

"Fine! If I leave Jacob everyone I know and love is going to be in danger. He will do anything to get to me. Once he has me he will kill me. If I ever attempt to leave him he will kill me and hurt you! Is that what you want! Huh? If I leave him you wanna know exactly what will happen! Because I can tell you! I'll leave him, and then I'll disappear for a couple of days, I'll stop calling, stop going to work, and stop going to school. And then you'll see on the news that I was found dead in an alley, or a dumpster, or floating in the river. And then you will have to come down to the morgue and identify my body! Would you like that Edward, would you like to identify my body? You've had plenty of practice at it already having done it three times already!" I yelled at him. His face was emotionless as I stared at him. I knew it was a low blow but he wanted to know. He turns and stomps out of the room, I knew I hit a nerve.

"Kristi did you really have to go there?" Asked Alice.

"Yes I did! The boy needs a reality check!" I said.

"Yeah well so do you! This isn't healthy Kristi! You say he's going to kill you but at the rate he's going he'll kill you whether you leave him or not! Let us help you!" She said. I felt like she had slapped me across the face. I was doing this for her, for them, for all of them.

"No, I don't need your help. I can handle it by myself." I said quietly.

"Kristi the boys and I have been standing by for years, trying to let you handle it and no good has come of it. You can't fix this; you can't handle this, not on your own." She said.

"None of you can fix or handle it either!" I said angrily. "I'm doing this for everyone's protection Alice!" I yelled.

"What if we don't need your protection! Kristi you can't even protect yourself!" She said.

"Shut up." I said angrily, gripping my bottle hard.

"The boys may be willing to stand by and watch you drown but I'm not. I'm not going to try and help you anymore. The next time he cheats or beats you up don't expect me to care, don't expect any comfort or pity from me." She said she was trying to goad me into admitting defeat. It wasn't going to happen. I didn't need her.

"Fuck off!" I said. She growled and turned and stomped out of the kitchen.

….

I listened as Alice read Kristi the riot act. I listened as she told Kristi she wasn't going to be there for her anymore.

"Fuck off!" Kristi yelled. Alice came stomping out of the kitchen and almost ran into me. I grabbed her arms.

"Alice come on." I whispered to her.

"No Edward enough is enough." She whispered back angrily. She hated that I was enabling Kristi.

"Alice I think we have been getting to her lately. Come on don't give up on her now." I whispered.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Today Kristi said I love you to me? When was the last time she said that? And she fought Jake on the phone. And she actually talked about him and what was making her angry. She never does that. She always refuses to talk about him." I said running my hands up and down Alice's arms to calm her.

"Yeah I guess." She said. I smiled as I let my hands drop. She sighed as she moved around me to go up to the room that was hers and Jasper's when they came to stay. I walked slowly into the kitchen. Kristi was sitting on the counter still. Her head was resting on the knee that she had pulled up to her chest.

"Hey." I said softly. She picked up her head to look at me. I knew she was half way to being smashed. She lifted the half empty bottle to her lips for a drink. "Don't stay up too late okay?" I ask. She nods, looking at the ground. I hesitate as I turn to leave. I look over my shoulder at her. She was a sad sight. Was that what I looked like when I drank? Broken down?

"I love you." I said softly. She looked up at me.

"I love you too." She said. She nodded her head as she looked at the wall. I smiled as I left the kitchen. I ran up the stairs to Alice's room.

"I just wanna say, she said I love you to me again." I said gloatingly as I entered.

"Yeah yeah." Said Alice, but she was smiling. She knew I was right about Kristi.

….

"I love you." He said. I looked up at him. I didn't even think about it, I said it back.

"I love you too." I said. I nodded my head a little as I looked away from him to the wall. He left the kitchen with a big smile on his face. I could hear him running up the stairs. I could hear him talking to Alice and then everything was quiet. I started nodding my head again.

"I love you bro." I said as I raised the almost empty bottle to my lips. I kept nodding. "I love you."


	8. Chapter 8

Today I woke up before my alarm clock. I didn't have any dreams that I could remember, and I actually felt rested. I rolled over and saw it was ten. I got up and walked out into the hall way just as Alice was coming out of her room.

"Good morning!" I said happily. She smiled.

"You seem awful chipper this morning! Good sleep?" She asked as we walked down stairs.

"The best." I said leading her into the still destroyed kitchen, I really needed to get on that. We stopped and laughed at what we saw. Kristi was still sitting on the counter in the same position we left her in last night. She had her head resting on her knee and an empty Jack Daniels bottle in her hand. I carefully walked over everything and up to her. Alice was trying to stifle her giggles at the ridiculousness that was my sister. To an outsider it would have looked like she partied a little too hard in the kitchen last night. "Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!" I yelled when I was beside her. She jerked awake and almost fell off the counter, dropping the bottle in the process. I quickly jumped out of the way so as to not get cut. She looked around disoriented, looking like she wasn't really sure where she was. "Good morning!" Alice called to her. Kristi squinted.

"Stop shouting." She mumbled, hopping off of the counter. Her legs wobbled and she had to clutch on to me for support. I laughed.

"Not so loud jerk." She said rubbing her head. I steadied her on her own two feet before letting her go.

"What's wrong? Party too much with your friend Mr. Daniels last night?" I said teasingly. She stuck her tongue out at me and walked over to the fridge, opening it and rummaging through it.

"Kristi's got a hangover!" Yelled Alice. Kristi spun around with the jug of orange juice in her hand.

"Next time you two have hang over's I'll remember this torture." She said scowling. She opened the jug and drank directly from it.

"Uh there are such things as cups you know." I said. She shook her head as she swallowed.

"I don't believe in cups, they're against my religion." She said drinking some more.

"What religion?" Alice asked.

"Exactly." She said putting the cap back on. I shook my head at her. "I'm late opening the shop, gotta go." She said heading out of the kitchen. We followed her out.

"Hey that's my orange juice!" I called.

"Can I have this? Thanks, cuz I'm taking it with me!" She said waving the jug in the air as she left the house.

"She didn't even change her clothes, how gross!" Said Alice prancing off to get ready for the day. I just laughed at her as I walked up to my room to get ready too. Despite the fighting last night and despite having a hangover Kristi seemed to be in a relatively good mood this morning. I just hoped things stayed good. As I got dressed my thoughts moved from my sister to Bella. Kristi had said some interesting things about Bella last night.

"Jizz." I mumbled shaking my head as I remembered what my rude little sister said. I knew if she had said those things in front of Bella, Bella would have blushed like there was no tomorrow. I pictured her blushing; she always looked so cute when she did that. I really liked her but I would have to tread lightly. Mainly because of Emmett, I knew him to be the over protective older brother type. I rolled my eyes at my reflection in the mirror as I brushed my teeth. Based off of what Kristi said, now that I knew Bella liked me too asking her out would be the easy part, getting around Emmett would be the hard part. I decided today would be the day.

I surveyed my reflection. All my hair was tucked into a wool knit hat. I was wearing a button down plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top button open. I was wearing a nice pair of black skinny's and a pair of black doc martens. My eyes didn't look as tired as they normally did thanks to the good sleep last night. And finally all my piercings, my angel bites and center lip, were all healed after weeks of being red and inflamed. I looked pretty good. I just hoped Bella thought so too. I really liked her and I didn't want anything to go wrong. As I grabbed my back pack and headed down stairs I could feel the butterflies start in my stomach. Was I actually nervous? I Edward Cullen was nervous over asking out a girl? I had never gotten nervous before. But I guess that's how I knew I really liked Bella and she wasn't just a fling. I was known at one point for having a lot of flings, a different girl every weekend. Emmett and Jasper used to be right there with me until they started dating Alice and Rosalie. And then I started having a lot of issues with Kristi so I pretty much just stopped going out and stopped seeing any one at all.

Alice was waiting for me when I got down stairs.

"Can you give me a ride? We came in Kristi's car last night." She said.

"Sure." I said. "Let's stop and pick up breakfast for everyone first. We haven't done that in a while." I said. Alice looked up from the magazine she was reading when I said this.

"Okay. Wow. You look nice today." She said slyly. I felt my face getting hot. I shrugged.

"No nicer than usual." I said. She shook her head as she stood up.

"No Edward, usually you dress like you don't care. Who are you trying to impress? Emmett?" She snorted out. I shook my head. I felt like my face was practically on fire.

"Wrong Swan." I said as I turned to walk out the door. I heard Alice laugh as she walked after me. She was still giggling when we got in the car. "Stop laughing would you?" I asked as I started driving.

"I'm sorry but you were blushing, it was just too cute." She said patting my knee. I shook my head and smiled as I drove us through the drive through of Dunkin Donuts. I ordered a bunch of coffees and a large variety of donuts and because Alice poked fun at me I made her hold all the hot stuff on her lap. She kept complaining that it burned. I drove to the shop, not saying much, just listening to her complain. When we got there we found we were the last to arrive. Alice shoved the coffees into my hands and took the donuts.

"You burn." She said sticking her tongue out at me. I laughed. When we walked in my eyes went straight to Bella who was sitting in my swivel chair from my art desk. It seemed she had dragged it over to sit beside Kristi who was looking absolutely miserable in her arm chair. She looked kind of funny though in yesterday's clothing, nursing a jug of orange juice. I walked up to the counter and placed the coffees beside me. I leaned onto it and smiled at the two.

"Good morning Bella." I said. She blushed when I gave her my best crooked smile.

"Good morning." She said softly. I glanced at my sister to see she had dropped her scowl long enough to smile at me.

"You look nice today." Kristi mumbled at me, placing her feet up against the counter edge. I laughed as I sat up. I could hear Alice whispering to Jasper and Emmett. I glanced their way to see Jasper smiling at me and Emmett giving me the stink eye. Kristi snorted and I saw her looking at Emmett too. Bella was distracted with the appointment book so she didn't notice.

"You don't." I said turning my attention back to my sister. She stuck her tongue out at me. Bella looked at Kristi when I said this.

"Don't worry I already poked fun at her for having a hangover and wearing the same clothes as yesterday." She said smiling at me. I laughed and Bella did too. Her laugh was gorgeous; I could listen to it all day. Kristi rolled her eyes at us.

"Yuck it up you goons." She said swigging her juice. This just made Bella laugh harder. Kristi shot her a scowl and started to pout. I picked up a cup of coffee and pulled out a peanut butter filled donut from the bag. I leaned forward on my elbows again and held them out to her.

"Cheer up Buttercup." I said. Her eyes lit up at the offered food and old nickname.

"As long as your mine Sunshine." She said as cheesy as possible. I shook my head at her as she put down her juice and took the coffee and donut. The exchange was something we used to do when we were little; I was surprised she still remembered.

"Aw how cute, I haven't heard you guys say that in a long time." Said Alice bouncing over to get a coffee. Kristi rolled her eyes at me as she chomped into the donut.

"Mmmmmm. My favorite. You're the best bro ever." She said standing up and kissing my cheek getting a whole bunch of peanut butter goo on my face. I scrunched up my face as she sat back down. Bella and Alice were both laughing. Bella grabbed a tissue from the box by the register and stood up.

"Come here." She said. I leaned forward as she reached out to me, placing my hands on the counter to steady myself. I almost had a heart attack when she touched me. Her soft little hand came up to old my opposite cheek as she sweetly wiped the goo off with the other. I couldn't help the big smile on my face. I could practically hear Emmett's growling. Bella smiled back at me as she finished. "There you go." She said sweetly.

"Thanks." I mumbled, I could feel my face getting hot again and I knew I had a really big smile on my face. I glanced at my sister who was smiling just as big. She wiggled her eye brows at me in a suggestive manner. I stopped myself from snorting as I walked around the counter to go and put my back pack on my art desk. When I turned around Emmett was right there.

"I know what's going on." He said quietly. I smiled at him.

"Yeah?" I said laughing a little.

"All I have to say Edward is I'm watching you." He said. He put two fingers up to his eyes and then pointed them at me, like people do in the movies when they are telling people without words they are going to be watching. I rolled my eyes as he turned to go back to his station. It went on like that for the most of the day. I would flirt with Bella and make her laugh and blush and Emmett would glare at me and mime watching me when her back was turned. Kristi would snort at him every time. Around six Emmett was working on a group of girls who all came in wanting to get their noses pierced. So I seized my chance.

"Hey Bella come over here." I called to her quietly from the back of the shop, out of sight of Emmett's station. She came over to me and I motioned her to follow me into the back room. She laughed at my attempt at secrecy.

"What's up?" She asked me, smiling.

"I've wanted to ask you something all day, but I couldn't do it with Emmett practically breathing down my neck." She laughed and I felt my grin getting bigger. "I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me Friday night." I asked her. She blushed and I smirked at her. Her blush got redder. I'd have to remember to smirk at her more often, she looked so lovely. She nodded her head.

"Sure, I would love to." She said hugging me. I wrapped my arms tightly around her for the first time ever and it felt so good. It was euphoric, I felt like there was nothing bad going on in the world. _If this is what hugging her feels like what is kissing her going to be like?_ I wondered. She pulled away from me still blushing. I motioned for her to lead the way out. As we walked out of the back room Kristi wolf whistled at us which made Bella smack her arm as she hopped up onto the counter.

"So what's the verdict lover boy?" Kristi said to me, she had surmised earlier in the day why I was dressed so nice and what I was going to do. Bella's ebbing blush came back in full force. I stood in front of her as I spoke to Kristi.

"It's a go for Friday." I said smiling. Kristi high fived me.

"Woot woot! Edwards' gonna be getting lucking in Kentucky!" Kristi yelled out. Bella giggled as she reached out to me. She gripped the sides of my shirt and pulled my in between her legs. She wrapped her arms around my waist and laid her head on my chest as I wrapped my arms tightly around her shoulders.

"No he isn't!" Yelled Emmett angrily. I heard the pack of girls he was working on giggle. "You better leave my baby sister alone Edward." He said scowling at me. I laughed at him which just made his face go red in anger. Bella pulled away a little, but still holding onto me.

"Oh back off Emmett I don't say anything when I hear you and Rose at night, so just back off. Edward is a gentleman." She said. Emmett blushed as his clients cackled. Bella shook her head and turned to look at my sister, our arms were still loosely wrapped around one another.

"So date Friday." Kristi said. We both nodded. All of a sudden Kristi perked up. "Let me pierce your nose Bells. It'll be super cute." She said. Bella laughed.

"Um okay I guess." She said. She hopped down off the counter still holding me. Her hips grazed against mine and I had to control myself. I could not afford reacting to her, not with meat head around. Kristi grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her into the back room where we had a private station set up. Emmett finished with his crew and rang them up just then. When they left he turned to me.

"I'm warning you dude. Hurt her and I kill you." He said. I nodded; I still had a slight smile on my face. He rolled his eyes at me, but smiled. "Dude you got it bad." He said patting my back and walking away. I laughed and flopped down into Kristi's chair.

"I think your right." I said. A couple minutes later Bella and Kristi came prancing out of the back room. Bella walked up to me with my retarded sister and turned to show me the little green stud in her left nostril. "Very nice." I said. She giggled and ran to Emmett to show him.

Kristi flopped into my lap sighing. I cuddled her up to my chest as she turned a little to lean sideways against me. She slumped against me and buried her face in the side of my neck. I looked down when I felt a tug on my shirt. One of her tiny girl hands had fisted in my shirt, holding onto it tightly. She sighed again.

"What's wrong?" I mumbled to her, kissing what I could reach of her forehead.

"Nothing." She said shaking her head. I snorted.

"Yeah like I buy that. What's bothering you?" I asked softly. She shook her head as her cell phone started to ring. She pulled it out and answered it.

"What Jake?" She asked. She listened for a little before sighing and shutting her phone. She pulled herself away from me and stood. She grabbed her back pack from under her chair and pulled on her shoes.

"Bells I'll meet you at the school, I have some errands to run." She called across the shop.

"Okay." Said Bella turning back to Alice. I stood up and grabbed her wrist.

"Where are you going?" I asked frowning. She looked up at me remorsefully.

"You know." She said. She stood on her tip toes and kissed my cheek right beside the corner of my mouth. She gently pulled out of my grasp and left the shop. I sighed unhappily and flopped back down into her chair. I covered my face with my hands. Why did she keep doing this? I heard the others surround me. I moved my hands to look tiredly up into the face of my friends, my family.

"Don't worry man." Said Jasper. Alice nodded her agreement with him.

"Everything will be okay Edward; she's going to handle things." Said Bella with a knowing smile. I raised my eye brows.

"What did she tell you?" I asked her. She smiled but shook her head.

"Nothing." She said slyly. "Just don't worry." She said smiling bigger. I decided to listen to her. Kristi must have opened up to Bella at some point. I didn't like worrying so I was more inclined to listen to her. Emmett smiled at me as he leaned on the counter.

"Kristi's tough man." He said smiling. I nodded.

"Yeah she is. She has to be." I said letting my head drop back against the chair and closing my eyes. "But she shouldn't." I whispered.


	9. Chapter 9

"Stupid Edward, stupid Alice." I mumbled as I climbed into my car with my jug of orange juice, no pulp thank you very much. Why did my family have to be so retarded? I have a serious hangover after drinking all that Jack last night. I'm getting almost as bad as my brother. We're more alike than he knows. He knows I drink, even though I'm underage, but what he doesn't know is that I have tried drugs before. You would think I would learn after my brother was an addict and a dealer for such a long time. You would think I would have learned after he got busted and got lucky with community service because our Uncle is well connected. You would think.

I snorted a little as I drove one handed, taking a drink with the other. I started dating Jake when I was fourteen. I moved in with him shortly after. Edward was twenty at the time. He had been clean for about a year and a half. He was doing better at being my guardian and taking care of me. The shop was really taking off, and everything seems good on the surface. But I was miserable. I hated him and I hated the world. I was an angry kid. Jake gave me the outlet I needed. I started doing drugs with him shortly after I moved in with him. I would never see Edward but would call to check in once a month. Every time he would beg me to come home and I would just laugh at him. 'Home?' I would say. 'You're an idiot! We have no home!' Yeah I was a real bitch. What he didn't know was that pretty much every time I would talk to him I would be flying high as a kite on whatever drug Jake had brought home that day.

I pulled up to the shop; I was the first one here for once, which was a good thing because I was supposed to be opening the shop. I unlocked the door and started getting everything for the day. I kept thinking as I did. I think Edward had his suspicions about me, he definitely had his suspicions about Jake. He made that well known. But he had never met Jake so he couldn't prove anything. But he was an addict and dealer for a couple of years so he can spot substance abuse. I could tell by the pained looks on the few occasions I actually did see my brother that he probably knew what I was doing. But he never said anything, I think he wanted me to figure it all out on my own and fix myself.

One night, my sixteenth birthday, I OD'd on something Jake gave me. I was so tired and just needed a fix that I let him inject me himself. Never trust anyone to do that for you but yourself! Doing drugs is bad enough but letting someone else administer it is even worse. I passed out and turned blue. Luckily enough Jake had enough common sense to call an ambulance. The EMT's had to restart my heart. That's right I died. The defibrillators didn't work. They had to give me an adrenaline shot to the heart like some weird Niki Sixx, Motley Crue, Pulp Fiction kind of shit. After that I woke up and was rushed to the hospital where I passed out again. I woke up with Edward hovering over me crying his eyes out. He asked me what happened. But I couldn't bring myself to say it. He looked so horribly broken. I realized what I was doing him. We had lost our parent and Liam only four years before this. And here I was being reckless and stupid. He thought he lost me too, he almost did. After I got out of the hospital I stopped doing drugs. The withdrawal was a bitch but I turned it around in the end.

I was so lost in thoughts of the past I didn't hear Bella come in.

"I said good morning Kristi!" She called waving a hand in front of my face. I jumped back from her, my hand going to my head.

"Not so loud." I growled at her. She raised and eye brow.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked, grabbing Edward's chair from his art desk as I flopped down into my arm chair.

"Hang over." I mumbled as I drank from my jug. She laughed quietly.

"Kristi there is such a thing as a cup." She said. I rolled my eyes.

"You know you and Edward are a lot alike. He said the same thing to me when I stole this from his fridge. You know… you two would be really good together." I said slyly, turning the tables on her. She wasn't going to pick on me. She blushed but then she leaned forward with a wide grin. I raised my eye brow at her.

"You know you might be right! You're even wearing the same clothes as yesterday! How gross!" She yelled in my ear. I swatted at her as she leaned back laughing her head off at me.

"Shut up. I had rough night last night; I think drinking was in order." I said. Her expression softened and her laughter died down. What happened? I sighed but proceeded to tell her exactly what happened last night. From the time Alice and I left the shop to the time Edward said I love you to me in the kitchen. When I finished she was quiet and she looked like she wasn't sure what to say. She leaned forward again and pulled me into a hug. That's when I broke. I cried on her while she rubbed my back. I managed to quiet my sobs and was leaning on her for support when she finally spoke.

"You have to leave him Kristi." She said. I sat up and looked at her. "This isn't good. This isn't healthy. Please listen to me." She said pleadingly. I looked down at my hands. I was about to respond when Jasper and Emmett showed up, laughing and talking loudly. They didn't notice how serious we were as they called hello walking over to their stations acting retarded. I looked Bella in the eyes and nodded. She looked shocked. I leaned in towards her as the boys made a lot of noise.

"Alice and Edward begged me last night. Jasper begged me earlier in the week and Emmett nearly had a heart attack when he saw me all beat up. I don't want anything to happen to anyone. But…" I broke off starting to cry again. Bella pulled me in for a hug. Jasper and Emmett's flurried movement stilled and they watched us concerned. I started whispering to her so they wouldn't hear. "I can't keep living like this." I whispered. She nodded as I pulled away. She wiped my face which made me give her a small smile. "Don't tell anyone." I mumbled. She nodded, tucking some of my hari behind my ear.

"Is everything alright ladies?" Asked Emmett concernedly, walking over with Jasper. I nodded.

"I had a rough night. I have a really bad hang over because of it." I said sitting back in my chair and drinking some of my orange juice. Jasper eyed me worriedly while Emmett burst into laughter.

"Emmett!" I yelled wincing as my head throbbed. I reached up and smacked him on the arm. "Be quiet jackass." I said rubbing my forehead. I glanced at Jasper and gave him a small smile. He returned it. He leaned down and kissed me on the forehead.

"You're sure you're alright?" He asked. I nodded. He smiled and walked back to his station. Emmett moved to his as well when Edward and Alice came in holding a big bag of Dunkin Donuts and a carrier full of coffees.

Edward walked up to the counter and placed the coffees on it. He leaned onto it and smiled at us.

"Good morning Bella." He said. She blushed when he gave her a big crooked smile similar to my own.

"Good morning." She said softly. He glanced over at me and I dropped my scowl long enough to smile at him. I was miserable, but I think I knew what was going on here. He looked really nice and he was acting really charming.

"You look nice today." I mumbled at him, placing my feet up against the counter edge. He laughed as he sat up. I glanced over at the others and saw Alice whispering to Jasper and Emmett. Jasper was smiling and Emmett was giving Edward the stink eye, and if I was right about what Edward was planning today then Emmett was probably going to be doing a lot worse than the stink eye today. I snorted. I glanced at Bella, she hadn't noticed anything, she was rifling through the appointment book.

"You don't." Edward said turning his attention back to me. I stuck my tongue out at him. Bella looked at me when Edward said this to me.

"Don't worry I already poked fun at her for having a hangover and wearing the same clothes as yesterday." She said smiling at Edward. He laughed and Bella did too. I just rolled my eyes.

"Yuck it up you goons." I said swigging my juice. This just made Bella laugh harder. I scowled at her and then pouted. This wasn't fare they had no right to pick on me. They both knew how rough of a night I had. Edward handed me a coffee and a peanut butter filled donut. He leaned forward on his elbows as he handed them to me.

"Cheer up Buttercup." He said. I smiled at him and got really happy at the sight of some of my favorite food and the old nickname.

"As long as your mine Sunshine." I said as cheesy as possible. He shook his head at me. The exchange was something we used to do when we were little. I'm surprised he brought it up.

"Aw how cute, I haven't heard you guys say that in a long time." Said Alice bouncing over to get a coffee. I rolled my eyes at her as I took a big bite out of my donut.

"Mmmmmm. My favorite. You're the best bro ever." I said standing up and kissing his cheek getting a whole lot of peanut butter goo on his face. He scrunched up his face as I sat back down. Bella and Alice were both laughing. I watched as Bella stood and wiped Edwards face for him. The exchange was cute. By the end of it they were both smiling widely at one another, and Bella had a slight blush on her face. I looked over at Emmett and he looked like he could have had steam coming out of his ears. Edward looked at me and I smiled while wiggling my eye brows suggestively at him. He stifled a snort while walking back to his art desk, closely followed by Emmett.

I watched all day as Edward flirted with Bella and made her blush. Emmett became the threatening older brother as I knew he would. I cornered Edward in the back room and told him I knew what he was doing. He just smiled and shrugged. Around six Emmett was working on a group of girl who all came in wanting to get their noses pierced. Edward went in for the kill. He called Bella to him and led her into the back room. Alice and I shot each other conspiratorial looks while Jasper smiled. Emmett hadn't noticed yet. When they came back out I wolf whistled at them, this caught Emmett's attention and he looked murderous. Bella smacked my arm as she hopped onto the counter.

"So what's the verdict lover boy?" I said. Bella blushed hard. He stood I front of her as he spoke to me.

"It's a go for Friday." He said. I high fived him.

"Woot woot! Edward's gonna be getting lucky in Kentucky!" I yelled out, ignoring the throbbing in my head. Bella giggled and reached for Edward. I was surprised when she pulled him in between her legs and wrapped her arms around him. He looked pleased as he wrapped his arms around her as well.

"No he isn't!" Yelled Emmett angrily. I heard the pack of girls he was working on giggle. "You better leave my baby sister alone Edward." He said scowling at him. He laughed at Emmett. Bella told Emmett off which made him blush and made his clients cackle. She then turned to look at me.

"So date Friday." I said. They both nodded. All of a sudden I got an idea. "Let me pierce your nose Bells. It'll be super cute." I said. Bella laughed but agreed. I didn't miss the way she rubbed up against Edward as she hopped off of the counter. And I didn't miss his pained look, like he was trying really hard not to get a boner. I pulled her into the back room and sat it up. I sanitized her nose, placed a pop stick in her nose and basically shoved the needle through, all before she really understood what was going on. She looked at me shocked.

"Ow!" She said. I laughed as I threaded a cork screw stud into her nose.

"Stop being a baby. You're a big pussy for pain, you told me so yourself the other day. I was just trying to get it done quickly." I said smirking at her. She rolled her eyes at me as she led me out of the back. Bella walked up to Edward and showed him the little green stud I had shoved through her nose.

"Very nice." He said. She giggled and ran to show Emmett. I flopped into his lap sighing. He cuddled me to his chest while I got more comfortable on his lap. I slumped against him and buried my face in the side of his neck. I balled my hand in his shirt and sighed.

"What's wrong?" He mumbled to me, kissing my forehead.

"Nothing." I mumbled to him. I was actually okay but I was starting to get a weird anxious feeling in my stomach.

"Yeah like I buy that. What's bothering you?" He asked softly as I felt the anxiety spread to the rest of my body. I had to work really hard to keep my breathing under control. I felt like something was going to happen, like something was going to happen. I shook my head as my cell rang. I pulled it out and answered it.

"Kristi." Said the caller.

"What Jake?" I asked.

"I need you to come home now." He said. "I'm going to be busy for a couple of hours and I have a client who needs a fix. I'm supposed to be meeting him soon. I need you to go and do it for me." He said. I sighed and shut my phone on him. I pulled myself away from Edward and grabbed my back pack from underneath the chair. I pulled my shoes on next.

"Bells I'll meet you at school, I have some errands to run," I called across the shop.

"Okay." Bella said turning back to Alice. Edward stood up and grabbed my wrist.

"Where are you going?" He asked frowning. I looked up at him trying to say I was sorry for what I was about to do with my eyes.

"You know." I said. I stood up on my toes and kissed his cheek, right beside his mouth. I gently pulled my wrist out of his hand and left the shop. He watched me leave with sadness in his eyes. He knew what I was doing, or at least had an idea. I was being Jake's gopher once again. I ran down the street. I ran all the way to our apartment. When I got there Jake wasn't. I sighed as I tossed my back pack onto the couch and grabbed a note Jake left me on our coffee table.

_Baby, be back soon. The client is Teddie, same drop place and same time it always is with him. Love you, Jake._

I rolled my eyes as I placed the note back on the table and grabbed the little baggy of powder and stuffed it in my pocket. I walked into our bedroom and grabbed my grey knit hat and black aviators and pulled both on. I didn't need anyone to see me or my face clearly. I pulled on a black zip up to cover my bruises and then I ran out of the apartment. It took me a couple of minutes and when I got to the bodega we usually did business with Teddie at he was already there. I slowed myself to a walk as I came up to him. He had his back to me.

"Ted." I said. He flipped around to face me. He looked all sorts of strung out. He was really fidgety and nervous. He walked closer to me and gave me a quick hug. I hugged him back. I didn't see Teddie much anymore. He used to come around a lot to the apartment and get high with me but since I stopped doing that we hadn't really seen each other. "Ah Teddie man. You look like shit." I whispered to him as he fidgeted in front of me.

"Yeah well you're looking good. Well sort of." He said eyeing what was visible of the bruises and cuts on my face. I snorted at him.

"You got the money?" I asked getting down to business. He nodded and handed me a wad of cash. I slipped the baggy out of my pocket and into his hand. He stuffed it deep in his own pocket as I started to turn away. He grabbed my arm.

"Kristi I spoke to Crista the other day. I would never want to cross Jake as he is my supplier but I have to say this. We were friends once so please listen to me when I say you need to leave him. You beat addiction. So you're strong. Please he's hurting you." He said. He managed to stop his shaking long enough to place a hand on my cheek. I felt a tear slip out from behind my glasses. He wiped it away with his thumb. I nodded.

"I plan on it." I said. He smiled and nodded pulling away from me.

"Awesome." He said. He waved and started walking backwards. I waved back and turned away from him. I started running back the way I came. When I got back to the apartment I saw Jake sitting on the couch, staring at a blank TV with a stony look on his face. I got a weird sensation of déjà vu when I saw him. I knew something bad was going to happen. I walked up to him and tossed the wad of cash into his lap.

"Everything went fine. Now if you don't need me for anything else I need to head to school." I said turning my back on him. I didn't know what hit me. Something hard smack me upside the head and I fell on the floor. I turned over to look at him, blinking away the darkness that was trying to invade my vision.

"Have a good and cozy visit with Ted? Are you cheating on me?" He said angrily. Why was it he wasn't too busy to spy on me but he was too busy to do the drop himself.

"What are you talking about?" I said getting up off the floor rubbing my head, keeping my eyes on the book he held in his hand. He dropped it and I looked up at him.

"I saw you guys hugging each other, I saw him touch your face!" He yelled getting up in mine. I shook my head. But my mistake was when I laughed. He hauled back and punched me in my face. My glasses broke and I felt a horrible pain and heard a loud crack. Despite all my pain I saw this as my chance to leave him. I now had an excuse.

"Enough is enough Jake. You know Ted is my friend, I haven't seen him in a while. He touched my face because he could see what you did to me!" I yelled, he actually flinched when I pointed at my face. "I've been nothing but faithful, unfortunately you can't say the same." I said accusingly. "I'm tired of your jealousy! And I'm tired of you beating me! I'm done with you! I'm moving out! We're through!" I screamed at him. I stomped into our bedroom and started packing what little clothes I had into a big ruck sack. He stood in the doorway watching me. As I emptied my sock drawer I turned my back on him and pulled the gun I had hidden there out and out in the front of my pants, pulling my short and hoodie over it. I didn't have anything else except my back pack. All my school stuff and art stuff was either at the shop or in my car back at the shop. I stomped past Jake and made my way to the door. I grabbed my back pack and held it by the loop at the top. I turned to look at him. He looked shocked that this was actually happening.

"See you never." I said spitefully. I didn't give him a chance to respond. I tossed my key onto the floor and left quickly. When I got down to the street I took off quickly towards the shop. When I got there I blessed the fact that I had parked a little ways down the street from the shop. I didn't want the others to see me like this. I tossed my bags into the back seat and climbed into the front. I looked in the rearview mirror. My cheek was swollen and black and blue. It looked worse than anything he had ever done. I reached up and prodded it lightly. The pain was worse than anything he had ever inflicted. "I think it's broken." I said aloud. I sighed as I started the car. No school for me today. I needed to go to the hospital.


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up extremely excited. Tomorrow, Friday, was my date with Bella. I could feel the anticipation and nerves growing. I rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I looked well rested again. I had been sleeping well and hadn't been having nightmares the last few nights. I think it had to do with a combination of Bella and my sister. It seemed like we were all finally getting through to Kristi. Bella had hinted at something last night at the shop right after Kristi left. She knew something that we all didn't, and it seemed it was something good. She had said Kristi was going to handle things, whatever that meant. One thing I knew it meant was that Kristi had been confiding in Bella. Bella was doing Kristi a lot of good, and doing me a lot of good. Since Bella had started hanging around Kristi has been changing for the better which changes me for the better.

I quickly went through my morning routine and got dressed, pulling on a blue V neck, a black button down sweater, and black jeans with my docs. I grabbed my back pack, phone, and wallet. Before heading out the door I pulled all my hair back into my wool knit hat like I had the day before.

As I climbed into the car a smile spread across the face. I was feeling good, like today would be a really good day. It just felt like one of those days. As I drove to the shop I bopped my head to the music, enjoying the sunshine that was so rare in Seattle. When I got to the shop I saw Bella and Jasper sitting outside on the steps. I furrowed my brow. Why weren't they inside? Were they locked out? Where was Kristi? This was her week to open the shop. I frowned as I climbed out of the car and walked over.

"Hey guys. What's going on?" I asked as I started pulling out my keys to unlock the shop. Bella and Jasper shared a very uneasy look. I stopped my movements to raise my eyebrow at them in question. "What?" I asked. Jasper was looking down at the pavement, completely avoiding my gaze. I looked to Bella to see her biting her lip.

"Bella?" I asked.

"Uh…Kristi…" She started.

"Where is she? What's wrong?" I asked quickly, starting to feel the panic grow in the pit of my stomach. My good feeling and mood from earlier now completely gone. Something was wrong and they weren't telling me.

"She…uh…" Bella stuttered. I sighed.

"Inside now." I said, walking past them and unlocking the door and holding it open for them. They both slumped past me inside. I let the door swing shut as Jasper hopped up onto his and Alice's art table and Bella stood by him.

"I can already tell there is something wrong, and I know it has to do with my sister. So instead of beating around the bush just spit it out now." I said angrily, aggressively crossing my arms over my chest and widening my stance after dropping my back pack beside me.

Jasper looked up slowly, his gaze moving from his legs swinging lazily over the side of the table to slowly meet my face. The look in his eyes was sad, worried, and haunting. He glanced at Bella who was still chewing away at her lip. If it were any other situation I would consider the fact that she looked really adorable right now, her nervosity being really cute and endearing. But this wasn't the time.

"Now guys!" I yelled.

"Whoa Eddie chill out dude." Said a voice from behind me. I turned to see Emmett closely followed by Alice coming into the shop.

"NO! There's something wrong. They know something and they're not telling, and it has to do with Kristi!" I said angrily. Emmett's face got stony and stood by me, adopting my pose. Alice walked around us to Jasper, who had his elbows resting on his knees and his head in his hands.

"Spill now." Emmett said icily. I saw Bella flinch at her brother coldness.

"Jazz?" Alice asked. He didn't react. She placed a hand on his shoulder and nothing. He just sat there like a statue.

"Bella?" Asked Emmett, advancing on her slightly. "If something bad has happened don't you think you should speak up?" He said in a very authoritative older brother tone. Bella squeaked nervously.

"Kristi didn't show up to class last night." Jasper's muffled voice came through his hands. I froze. He slowly picked his head up to look at me. "No one has seen her and she's not answering her phone." He said in a monotone. I could feel myself starting to panic. This wasn't good. I turned on Bella.

"What do you know! Last night you said Kristi was going to handle things! What does that mean Bella!" I asked my voice cracking. I could feel myself shaking, I was losing it. She stuttered, not meeting my eyes. "Bella!" I yelled. I could feel a panic attack coming on. She jumped and finally looked at me.

"She was going to break it off with Jake and move out." She said, her voice very high pitch. All went quiet. Everyone was staring at me. I snapped. I started hyperventilating.

"He did something to her!" I exclaimed. I started pacing up and down the room, pulling at my hair and pounding on my head. I could feel the tears starting to pull down my face. How did my day start off so good and then turn to shit just like that? I felt like there was a lot of pressure on my ears, and I couldn't hear a thing save for my frantically beating heart. She had been unwilling to leave him for fear he would hurt her or us, and she was right. I couldn't believe she was right. I broke out of my pacing to step quickly to the counter. I tried to grab for the phone but all of a sudden it wasn't there.

The volume turned back on and I could hear everyone trying to get my attention and trying to calm me. I could also hear this horrible rattling, gasping sob. It took me a few seconds to realize it was me. I was in full blown panic mode. I could feel my body violently shaking, my knees knocking, and my stomach churning. My legs gave out and I collapsed to the ground, pulling my knees up and burying my head into them. I felt small hands and arms winding around me, pulling my head away from my knees to their chest.

"Edward you need to calm down. Everything will be alright." Bella whispered soothingly. I started trying to regulate me breathing and stop my crying. After a few minutes I was a little more calm although my breathing was still slightly ragged and my throat hurt from my cries. Slowly Bella helped me off of the floor and wrapped her arms around my waist, offering me physical and emotional support. I swallowed audibly before looking around the shop. Alice was cuddled into Jasper chest, she looked scared for me. I knew it had been a really long time since she had seen me freak out like that. Last time I panicked like that was when I was going through withdrawal. Jasper was looking at me with pity. Emmett looked like he wanted to cry. I looked down at Bella who was pretty much mirroring her brother. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and hugged her close to my side.

"What do we do?" I asked my voice raspy, weak, and broken. No one said anything. No one knew.

….

I drove myself to the hospital to get checked last night. I had to skip classes to do it. The fucker fractured my cheek bone! They were going to call the police because I looked like I had been beaten. But I didn't want to deal with that so I high tailed it out of there. I drove around the city, not really sure where I should go. I was in pain, and I looked like shit. I really didn't want Edward or the others to see me like this. I needed something, anything to stop the pain in my face. I knew what I had to do. I didn't like it but I would do it. I drove back to Jake's apartment and waited. I waited all night. In the early hours of the morning he entered the apartment, staggering. He was smashed or high. I followed him up. I saw him passed out on the couch. I shook my head as I walked into what was once our bedroom and into our bathroom. I opened the medicine cabinet and grabbed a few bottles and then ran like a bat out of hell to get out of there. When I got back to my car I drove as fast as I could to get away. I left Seattle, I had no clue where I was going though. I pulled over on the high way and looked at the bottles. They were all stolen prescriptions for Oxycontin. I knew I couldn't take any if I was going to be driving so I pushed myself to drive. I drove for hours until I found myself in a little Podunk town called Forks. I went to the only Inn there and got a room. Once I was safely in the room I took the pills. I laid down on the bed, glancing at the clock. It was already eleven in the morning. Everyone would be arriving at the shop and they would be wondering where the hell I was.


	11. Chapter 11

Yesterday was terrible. None of us knew what to do, so we closed the shop and went to my house. All we did all day was mope around and stare at our phones hoping Kristi would call one of us. We all fell asleep where we sat in the living room, waiting for a call that seemed like it would never come. And now it was eight in the morning and I was the only one awake. We were keeping the shop closed another day so everyone was sleeping in. Last night Rose had come over after she closed the art store. She and Emmett were curled up in my arm chair. Alice and Jasper were in the love seat. And Bella and I were on the couch.

I looked down at Bella's peaceful face. She was tucked comfortably into my side, her head resting on my chest. She looked so sweet and beautiful. I felt like I could stare at her face forever. Having her here made me feel a little bit better about the situation at hand.

All of a sudden the morning calm was broken by a loud old fashion ring coming from Bella's phone. She jerked awake, looking around confused. Everyone else was shaken awake as well.

"Turn that shit off." Mumbled Emmett.

"Shut up Em. It's my….phone!" She said, realization coming over her. She jumped off of the couch and pulled it out of her pocket. We all watched her raptly as she looked at the screen. Her eyes got extremely wide and she quickly flipped it open.

"Where are you!" She yelled into the phone. I was immediately out of my seat.

"Is it her? Is it Kristi? Can I talk to her?" I asked in quick succession. She waved her hand at me telling me to back off. Alice came over to me and held onto my arm. I looked down at her and she looked worried.

"Your where?" Bella asked. Jasper, Rose, and Emmett all got up and gathered around Bella as well. "No Kristi! Don't do this! Come home! What? No! Please don't do this…But- Kristi? Kristi? Hello?" Bella was yelling into the phone. She pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at the screen.

"What?" Asked Jasper.

"She hung up on me." She said frowning. Bella dialed her phone and held it up to her ear. She sighed. "Straight to voice mail. She turned it off." I stepped forward.

"What did she say?" I asked quietly. Bella looked down at her feet nervously. Rose stepped forward and wrapped her arm around Bella's shoulder. (A/N I realized I haven't really had Rose in the story that she's only been mentioned so I decided it's about time she be put in!)

"Bella it's alright just tell us." Rose said calmly. Bella picked her head up and looked at me.

"She said she was in Forks but that she was about to leave, she had just checked out of the Inn there when she called me. She's leaving the state and she doesn't know when she'll be back. She said she needed to get away for a while and that she'll check in when she can." Bella said. I was speechless. "She said to go on our everyday lives like everything is normal." Bella said softly.

"What!" I yelled. "I can understand her wanting to get away, but acting like nothing is wrong isn't going to help anything! This is bullshit!" I yelled, throwing my hands up in the air. I flopped down onto the couch and placed my head in my hands. I felt someone sit beside me and wrap a small arm around my waist.

"I know you don't want to hear this." She said softly, the whole room was silent. It was Bella speaking to me, Bella who had her arm wrapped around my waist. "Don't over react to what I'm about to say Edward. But…maybe we should listen to Kristi. She's not a little kid anymore, she's an adult. She got out of a bad situation and now she wants to deal with what happened in her own way. I know I was just yelling at her over the phone to come home but now that I'm thinking clearly Seattle probably isn't the best place for her right now. Seattle may even be too dangerous for her now. I say we go on about our lives and hope she calls us." Said Bella nervously. I picked my head up out of my hands to look at her, I had tears in my eyes.

"But she's my little sister Bella, I love her, and she's my responsibility." I said as tears started to drip down my cheeks. She reached up and wiped them away.

"I know you love her Edward, nobody said you didn't. But she isn't your responsibility anymore. She stopped being your responsibility the moment she turned eighteen." Bella said softly. I hung my head, my hair covering my eyes. I didn't want to listen to her, I didn't want to believe her but I knew it was true. Kristi was no longer my responsibility, she was an adult who could make her own decisions, and if she wanted to disappear for a little while there was nothing I could do about it. I started nodding my head.

"Your right. Kristi will come to us when she is ready. All we can do now is wait." I said lifting my head to look around the room. Alice was cuddled into Jaspers arms, silent tears streaming down her face. Jasper's face was hard as stone. Emmett was staring into space and Rose was sitting beside him clutching his hand. I started to stand up when Jasper yelled.

"No! We can't just wait!" He yelled letting go of Alice and moving to stand in front of me. "She needs to be with all of us, she needs us right now to help her, she just doesn't know it. And we need her too. I need her." He said, his voice breaking when he said the word I. I pulled him into a hug, both of us breaking down and crying. Kristi was really close to Jasper, it was probably killing him that she had broke up with Jake and run off and hadn't mentioned any of it, hadn't even bothered to call him. I calmed down before Jazz. I looked over his shoulder to Alice. She was staring at Jasper. She looked hurt.

"Alice?" I asked. Jasper turned away from me, letting go of me. He stood beside me sniffling, trying to get a hold of himself. He looked at his girl friend, confused by her expression.

"Alice what's wrong?" He asked, his voice a little scratchy from crying.

"What's wrong? You are!" She said. I raised my eyebrow at her, where was this coming from. Rosalie stood on Jasper's other side (A/N don't forget Rose is Jasper's twin).

"What?" Jasper.

"I'm tired of being second with you." She said, trying not to cry. Everything was quiet. I didn't understand, and glancing around the room I saw no one else did either. Jasper walked up to her and took her hands.

"Alice we are not having this conversation again. You have never been second to Kristi; she's one of my best friends that's it." He said softly.

"Yeah well sometimes it feels like it." She said. She walked away from him and upstairs he quickly followed her and we heard the door to Alice's bedroom shut.

"Well then." Said Emmett, trying to fill the silence.

"That may explain why Alice exploded at Kristi the other night in the kitchen." I mumbled.

"They fought?" Asked Rose.

"Yeah Alice started yelling at Kristi about Jake." I said. Rose sighed.

"Alice has always been jealous of Kristi; she doesn't think Jasper should be as close to her as he is. She thinks it's wrong since he's with her. And it just adds salt to the wounds since Kristi is Alice's cousin." Rose said quietly.

"I had no idea she felt that way." I said. I felt Bella come up beside me and wrap an arm around my waist.

"It's okay, how could you have?" She said. I looked down at her and gave her a small smile and nodded.

"Well then. I think we'll go back to our apartment to get some actual sleep." Said Emmett quietly. "You coming Bella?" he asked.

"Maybe a little later." She said, tightening her grip on me. I felt my heart soar. I was glad I was going to get some alone time with Bella. Because of Kristi running off yesterday Bella and I missed our date last night. Emmett nodded and led Rose out of the house. Once I heard the door shit I sighed and flopped down onto the couch. Bella sat beside me, cuddling into my side.

"Thank you." I mumbled to her, my eyes closed.

"For what?" She asked.

"For being the voice of reason today. I don't think I could have handled this without you. I would have freaked out like Jasper if it wasn't for you." I said. She laid her head down on my chest and wrapped her arm around my waist.

"Your welcome." She said softly. I wrapped my arm around her and held her tight to me. We were silent for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"So, we missed our date last night." She said casually. I smiled, keeping my eyes closed. I knew she couldn't see me smile because her head was on my chest.

"Yep." I said.

"Since we're going about things as normal I was thinking we could maybe reschedule our date?" She said unsure of herself probably due to my nonchalant yep. I picked my head up and opened my eyes to look at her.

"I would like that very much Bella." I said smiling. She picked her head up and smiled at me.

"You had better." She said. She leaned forward slowly, closing her eyes as she did. I closed mine and smiled knowing what was coming. Her lips softly brushed mine. Kissing Bella was everything I imagined and more. It was perfect.


	12. Chapter 12

It's been a week since Kristi took off and we've been doing as we all agreed, going about everything like its normal. The day after Kristi called Bella and I went on our date. It was perfect.

_I walked up to their apartment door nervously. I didn't know why I was freaking out so bad. I had been here a million times. But never to pick Bella up for a date. I knocked twice and then waited. The door was flung open and the smile died on my lips when I saw it was Emmett who answered the door._

"_Hey Edward." Said Emmett slyly. "Come on in." He said. He grabbed me by my shoulder and practically dragged me into the apartment. He pulled me into the living room and tossed me onto the couch. He stood in front of me with his arms crossed._

"_Listen up bro, here's the deal. I love ya and all that shit because you're my friend and like a brother to me. But if your hurt Bella I will not hesitate to kill you. I will break you into millions of tiny little pieces and hide them all over the US so they will never completely find you." He said menacingly. "Got it?" He said bending down so his face was close to mine._

"_Yeah Em I got it." I said pushing his face away from mine. I wanted to punch him for even thinking that I would hurt Bella. But if the situation was switched I would probably do the same._

"_Emmett, leave him alone." Said Rose coming in from the kitchen, she came over and whacked Emmett on the back. "Hey Edward." She said smiling at me. I smiled and greeted her back._

"_Bella! Ed's here!" Yelled out Rose._

"_Coming!" She yelled back. A few seconds later Bella was standing in the living room. I immediately stood up when she came in. She looked beautiful. Her hair was curled loosely. She wore light make up that only accented her natural beauty. For clothes she wore a red V neck shirt and a pair of black pants that hugged her just right, on her feet she wore a pair or black uggs. She was adorable._

"_You look great." I managed to croak out. I heard Emmett grumble at me. Rose dragged him out of the room._

"_Sorry about him." She said looking down embarrassedly. I shook my head._

"_Don't be. He's doing exactly what I would be doing if it was Kristi and some guy." I said smiling. Then I lost my smile. "Well if she would have given me the chance to anyway. She never really let me near Jacob." I mumbled. Bella gave me a small smile and came over to take my hand._

"_Don't worry about it. Let's just go." She said pulling me towards the door._

That night was one of the best of my life. Bella and I went to dinner and then took a walk in the park and just took the time to get to know one another. This was something I hardly ever did with girls. Now that I was older I hardly ever dated but when I was younger I would basically use them and loose them. That was before everything happened though, before I became Kristi's guardian and tragedy struck.

Since Kristi left I have been thinking more and more about that. My nightmares have kicked up again which just makes me think about it all. It also makes me wonder how my sister is really doing. She can't be handling this all very well because I sure as hell am not.

Bella and the rest have noticed how tired I have been lately. Alice knows about my nightmares simply because I lived with her and her family for a year before moving out and becoming Kristi's guardian, but the rest don't. They keep asking if I'm okay. I'm not. I keep telling them I'm just worried about my sister. The guys take the answer for what it is but I know Bella can tell there is something more. I haven't told her about the nightmares or mine and Kristi's past. I don't want to scare her off just yet.

"Hey Ed you okay dude?" Called Jasper. I looked up from the appointment book. I was currently sitting in Kristi's chair behind the counter in the shop trying to organize the damn thing. Without Kristi it was falling into disarray. I nodded at him.

"Yeah man I'm fine." I said giving him a small unconvincing smile. Jasper sighed and looked down at his hands which had stilled as he cleaned up his station. We had all been reduced to cleaning the shop in turns without Kristi who normally took care of the physical upkeep of the shop.

I studied Jasper. He had been just as much a wreck as I had been when she took off. He looked like he wasn't sleeping any either and he looked as if every breath he took was a real labor and effort for him. I had noticed there was a lot of tension between him and Alice lately as well. They barely talked to one another and I had over heard them arguing more than once.

"Jasper?" I called. He looked up at me hopefully. I glanced around the shop. We were alone, everyone else had headed out earlier when they didn't have any more appointments and Bella was currently at class. "Man what is going on? I know you aren't doing so well and you and Alice are fighting and barely speaking to one another." I said quietly. I set down the book and walked over to him, reclining in his client chair. He flopped down in his chair and closed his eyes.

"Alice is angry with me." He said.

"Why?" I asked. He opened his eyes to look at me.

"Why do you think? What has been her problem with this whole situation from day one? How fucking close I am to Kristi. She's fucking jealous of our relationship and she's fucking jealous because, as she puts it, I'm "pining" for Kristi." He said putting pining in air quotes. I tried not to laugh at his exasperation with the situation. I shook my head.

"Yeah man I know Alice is pretty jealous. She loves you and she doesn't want to share you, especially not with her younger cousin who she sees as a sister. She sees Kristi as competition ya know." I said. He nodded quietly, he already knew all this. "You just have to re-assure her that you love her too and want to be with her." I said smiling. He didn't smile back. He looked down at his hands, fiddling with his fingers. I raised my eyebrow at him. "Jasper? You do want to be with her don't you?" I asked. He sighed and looked up at me.

"I _want_ to want to be with Alice, but…I'm starting to think I can't. I mean the best thing for me would be to be with Alice but…" He stopped, unsure if he should say any of this to me. After all I was Alice's family.

"Go on man." I said. I may be Alice's family but I was his too, he was one of my best and longest friends.

"I can't force myself to be with someone that I'm just not happy with anymore. I mean don't get me wrong. I love her a lot, she's a really great friend, and we have a lot of fun together, and we have been there for each other through a lot, but…I…I…don't want to be with her anymore. Now that Kristi's gone it's like…I don't even know man." He said gripping his head with his hands. He was hurting badly inside. I reached out and placed a hand on one of his, he immediately released his head, looking up at me hoping for an answer to his problems.

"Being with Alice would be a good choice; it would be easy, just like it has always been. But you can't force yourself to be in a relationship with someone. You need to want to be with that person. Maybe it would be for the best if you Alice broke up and you both tried to salvage what is left of your friendship." I said. I watched him relax a little. I must have validated what he had been thinking all along.

"That's what I was thinking but I don't want to hurt Alice more than I already have." He said frowning.

"I think it's unavoidable. You are both going to get hurt during this; it's just the way it goes." He nodded in agreement, looking at the floor, seemingly in thought. We were both quiet for a few minutes before I spoke again. "Earlier you were going to say something about Kristi. What was it?" I asked curiously. Maybe Alice's worries about Kristi's and Jasper relationship had some validity to them. Jasper looked up at me with glazed eyes. He shook his head and his eyes cleared.

"Uh nothing man, it's nothing." He said smiling. I looked at him before nodding slowly. He was entitled to his secrets. I certainly had mine.

I stood up to go back to the book but before I did I leaned down and patted his shoulder.

"Don't let the situation with Alice go for too long man. It'll just fester and it won't be good." I said. He nodded.

"Yeah, thanks man." I nodded before walking back to the book. I collapsed into the chair and stared at the damn book. I really wished Kristi was here, it seemed like everything was falling apart without her, in the shop and in our personal lives.


	13. Chapter 13

**Right so this chapter jumps ahead two months.**

_There is blood everywhere; there are bullet holes in their heads. The horrified screams die on my lips as a loud beeping fills my ears._ I roll over and slam my hand down on the alarm clock, grateful for its timely interruption. I roll over onto my back and cover my face with my hands. My forehead along with the rest of my body was cold with sweat and shaking with the tears and cries I refused to let slip out, even in the comfort of my own bedroom. I lived alone; there was no danger of being heard, and yet I refused. This is how it has been ever since my sister took off. The dreams had stopped for a little while before, when everything had started looking up. But then everything went so wrong so fast. I felt like the only real good thing in my life now was Bella. She had been my light in a sea of black. I hadn't completely opened up to her but she was there for me despite everything.

I sighed as I heard the doorbell go.

"Why?" I moaned out. I somehow managed to drag my tired body out of the bed and downstairs to the door. I flung the door open only to find a smiling Bella on the other side. Her smile fell when she saw me though.

"You look awful." She said as she pushed past me and into the living room.

"Gee Bells it's great to see you too." I said closing the door behind her. "Why didn't you just use your key?" I asked. We had been dating for two months now and I had given her a key about two weeks ago. She was always over here it just made sense.

She froze in the act of dropping her school portfolio case on the floor. She turned slowly to look at me with a sheepish look on her face.

"You forgot you had one didn't you." I stated. She nodded blushing sweetly. I chuckled and laughed at her crossing my arms over my chest. Her eyes lowered to look down at my naked chest and arms and she blushed a little. I tried not to laugh at her. Sometimes she was so innocent.

Slowly her blush disappeared and her dreamy look left. She looked up at me as she walked up to me. She reached her hand up and picked the little blue bead hanging from a black string up from where it rested on my chest. It was the necklace my sister made for me all those years ago that I now never took off.

"Do you always wear this?" She asked examining it. I always wore it tucked into my shirt so she had never seen it; I didn't usually walk around shirtless in front of her. We were both pretty prudish and modest. At least…I was now anyway, I wasn't always.

"Yeah." I said. She looked up at me.

"It's neat, I like the bead, and it looks like one of those swirly gauges in the display case at the shop." She said. I nodded.

"Well that is where Kristi got the idea to make it like that." I said shrugging.

"Kris made this?" She asked softly. A small amount of realization crossed her face as she realized why I always wore this. I nodded my head at her. She softly let the bead drop back to my chest. She raised her hand to my cheek and ran her thumb under my one of my tired eyes.

"You look so tired." She mumbled to me. I leaned into her touch and closed my eyes, savoring this small amount of contact. Bella's and my relationship wasn't one big on outlandish displays of affection. We weren't one of those couples making out in public and hanging all over one another, making everyone in the general vicinity uncomfortable. We were more subtle, holding hands, soft brushes across the others back, loving looks. We were a quiet yet growing love…God I sound so corny.

"I am tired." I mumbled back to her. I turned and flopped onto the couch, my necklace bouncing against my chest; I reached up and gripped it. She sat down beside me, tucking her feet underneath her and placing a hand over my clenched hand on my chest.

"I know it wasn't my place to ask a couple months ago but Edward we've been dating for a while now and I feel like I barely know you." I was about to interrupt her but she shushed me. "What I mean by that is you hide things from me. And I can tell you think I won't be able to handle it and your protecting me because you think it's for my own good. But Edward, don't. I want to know you; I want to know about you. I know you now, but who were you before I knew you. I don't know anything about your past. Every time we even get close to the topic you steer us away. I know you have nightmare's that are connected to your past, I just want you to open up to me." She said looking at me sadly. I looked at her a little surprised.

"How do you know that?" I asked.

"Alice." She said. I rolled my eyes and then closed them.

"I should have known." I sneered out. "Alice doesn't know when to keep things to herself." I growled. Bella's hand tightened over mine.

"Edward it's not her fault, I really wanted to know. She didn't tell me anything about the actual nightmare just that you had them and that they were connected to whatever happened to you and Kristi when you were younger. She also told me that Kristi had them too." She said. I sighed exasperatedly.

"I know it's not her fault I just wanted to tell you on my own." I mumbled. Sometimes I wished Alice was a mute.

"So tell me." She said softly. I let my eyes flutter open to look at her and she was very close to me, looking at me intently. I sighed but nodded.

"It's kind of a long story Bella, and it's a really hard one to tell." I said. She squeezed my hand slightly in encouragement. "I'm not even sure where to start." I mumbled.

"The beginning, start with whatever happened to you two." She said quietly. I sighed and sat up from the couch. I stood up and she let her hand drop. I walked over to the book shelf in the corner. I bent down to the bottom shelf and pulled out a small black linen bound book. I came back over to the couch and flopped back down beside her. She wrapped an arm around my shoulders and leaned into me as I opened it.

"This is the beginning." I said. On the first page was a yellowed newspaper article dated six years ago, March 5th 2004. (Remember dear readers that I started this story in 2010 so six years ago for them would indeed be 2004.) I cleared my throat and started to read the article out loud.

"Authorities responded to shots fired in a suburb of Seattle last Saturday. What they found was not anything they expected. Edward Cullen Senior 45 and his wife, Elizabeth 42, and their oldest son, Liam 21, were found shot to death in their place of residence.

Responding officers described the crime scene as horrific, disturbing, and unspeakable. Officers arrived on the scene almost immediately after shot were fired but it was too late.

There will be no investigation as the culprit was dead at the scene having shot himself as well after claiming his victims. The three are survived by Edward Seniors brother, Carlisle 38, his sister-in-law, Esme 37, his niece, Alice 15, and his and Elizabeth's two remaining children, Edward Jr. 18 and Kristi 12. Private services will be held for close friends and family in a few days time." I read quietly. I glanced at Bella when I finished, she looked horrified. I turned the page quietly. On the next page was a journal entry on my untidy scrawl. I took a deep and steadying breath before starting to read again.

"March 6th, 2004, the day after the worst day of my life. Yesterday started off normal. I rolled out of bed late as per usual and had to rush to get ready for school. I scarfed down my breakfast which mom got up early to make as she always did and then I herded my little sister to my car. I had to speed to get her school on time as I always did and then speed to get to my school on time.

I floated through school, goofing off in my classes as most of them are art classes. Me and the boys made plans for later tonight as we usually did for Fridays. Same old, same old. After school I picked Kristi up. She told me about her day and I barely listened. I dropped her at home, not bothering to go in. I had places to be. I didn't think about the fact that I barely talked to my mother earlier that morning, or that I hadn't seen my father yet today as he had left for work early, or that I hadn't seen my brother since the afternoon before as he had stayed out late and then slept in late.

I went to the normal meeting spot for my little group in the city, this old run down building in the warehouse district. We would get ourselves ready there, drinking and smoking. We would then head over to the high school where we would meet up with the girls. We usually stayed at the in ware house district for a couple of hours. By the time we made it to the high school night time had faded. I was pretty wasted and high by this point. It had to be around eleven when we heard it. What sounded like gun shots. Shortly after my phone started ringing. My sister was calling. She was babbling about loud bangs coming from our house. My inebriated mind had a hard time understanding what she was saying. She wasn't in the house; she was across the street at a friend's, sleeping over. They had heard the shots and her friend's mom had called 911.

I raced home in my car swerving all over the place. Somehow I got there before the police and EMT's. I raced up to the door, it was unlocked and slightly open, I should have realized something was wrong then. I ran throughout the dark house calling out for my parents and brother. Then I found them in my parent's room.

My mom and dad were both sitting up in bed, books in hand. There was a bloody hole in between my dad's eyes and in his chest. My mom was hit in the neck and stomach. There was blood splatter everywhere. I don't think I will ever be able to un-see or forget. I looked down and on the floor was my brother, gun in hand. He shot himself, eating the gun, after shooting our parents. There was a note near his other hand, I would have picked it up but I heard something behind me, Kristi. She was frozen in the door way. I grabbed her and pulled her from the house. She had seen me pull up and go into the house and had thought it was safe to go in as well. When I got her outside she collapsed on the pavement while I stumbled over to the glass and vomited. She crawled over to me and held onto me until I was done. Once I was we held each other crying until the police showed up.

How can a day start off so normal and then go so wrong so fast?" I finished. I was quiet, not looking at Bella just looking down at the book in my hands. I heard Bella sniffle but I still wasn't able to look at her. She now knew what had started everything.

"So you found them?" She asked her voice croaky and quiet, sounding like she was trying not to cry. I nodded, one tear slipping down my cheek.

"Is that what yours and Kristi's nightmare's are about? Seeing them?" She asked. I nodded again as more tears came. I reached up and swiped them away, stuffing them down deep inside me. I couldn't cry. I never really had and I wasn't about to start now.

I closed the book and handed to Bella. I couldn't read anymore of it.

"Take it. Read it. I can't hand-handle any-m-more." I stuttered out, my voice breaking half way through. She took the book and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck from the side, leaning her forehead against my temple.

"It's alright. Thank you so much for opening up to me and trusting me like this." She said softly. I nodded as she kissed my cheek. She held me for a little longer in silence. Just her innocent touch was enough to calm me and make me feel a little bit better.

"Did you write everything down?" She asked as she pulled away, running a hand over the cover of the journal. I nodded.

"Yeah, everything important anyway." I said. She nodded. She held it to her chest almost protectively.

"I'll try to read it and get it back to you soon." She said with a sad smile.

"Take your time." I said. I gave her a real smile and leaned forward. I kissed her softly, silently showing her my thanks for listening to me and letting me stop when I did. Her kiss was reassuring that she was there and she wasn't going anywhere for a really long time.

"Still, I'll try to bring it back soon." She said softly. Not too soon I hoped. I knew when she finished reading the journal she would have a lot of questions. Questions I may not be ready to answer just yet.

The rest of the morning we spent lounging together on my couch, holding each other and watching TV. Around noon I went upstairs to get dressed to go to the shop. I was really tired and I felt drained so like the many days before this I didn't put much thought into what I looked like, jeans, T shirt, hoodie, chucks. I just didn't care anymore.

I stood in the bathroom surveying my reflection as I often did when getting ready. Before she left I had been looking better, less tired, less weary, less sad. But now I was beaten down and tired. I shook my head at my sad looking appearance and traipsed out of the bathroom. I grabbed my back pack and trudged downstairs to the one of the only good things in my life at this point. She really was my savior, without her I think I would have gone off the deep end with depression like Jasper. As we made our ways to our cars to drive to the shop I thought about Jasper.

After having our little talk a week after Kristi left Jasper sat Alice down and had a little talk with her. He explained to her how he was feeling and that he didn't want to be with her anymore and that he just wanted to be friends. She of course had taken it hard as I had predicted to him. There was no way neither of them could come out of it unscathed. For the first month after they broke up Alice barely acknowledged Jasper's existence which just depressed him more than he already was. He missed Kristi and as much as he didn't want Alice as a lover he needed her as a friend.

Earlier this month Alice had approached Jasper and they had been easing back into a friendship. She was trying to help him but it was almost like he was unreachable right now. He seemed to be only going through the motions of living, he was almost catatonic, which made me wonder just how much he actually cared for my little sister. I wondered if he even realized how much he actually cared about her.

It was to the point we were all worrying he was going to do something stupid. Rose had taken to staying with him at his apartment a couple nights a week, just to make sure he wasn't always alone.

Rose had been at the shop more and more lately. She was helping us pick up the slack Kristi dropped as was Bella. Rose owned the Art store down the street but she hired a manager and was only there half of the week, the other half she was with us. When she couldn't be there Bella would be there to help, I had hired them both part time. It was great having them both there. Our family had lost a member but we were all now brought a little bit closer because of it.

Speaking of Rose, one good thing that had popped up was that she was pregnant. We found out about two weeks after Kristi left that she was three months pregnant. When Emmett found out he freaked. At first he was scared shitless and then he was thrilled bouncing around the room like a hyper little kid. He proposed to Rose that night. We all teased him about a shot gun wedding. The pregnancy and the wedding news had brought Jasper out of his funk for a little bit, the news that he would be an Uncle cheering him a little.

Now Rose was five months a long and she was dubbed Rose-zilla. She was a monster of a pregnant woman. She was demanding and mean one minute and then crying her ass off the neck. One good thing about her awful mood swings was that she often went crying to Jasper, which distracted him enough from his depression about Kristi. We were all managing without her. It was hard but we were getting there.

I sighed as I pulled up to the shop. Today was a drizzly cloudy day. The kind of day that made me just want to stay inside all day and watch TV or sleep. But I couldn't, damn, why did I want to run my own business again? I'll never know.

Bella and I walked up to the shop hand-in-hand. I held the door open for her and she graced me with one of her beautiful breath-taking smiles. When we walked in the atmosphere in the shop was lighter than it had been in weeks. Jasper was standing behind the counter with others, but something was different. He was smiling.

"Hey guys what's going on?" Bella asked pulling me around the counter. I stopped beside Jasper giving him an inquisitive look. He held up a rectangular piece of card stock, a post card. I raised my hand and took it. On the front was a the cover of the 1977 Sex Pistols album _God Save the Queen_. I quirked my eyebrow as I flipped it over to read. The post card itself was addressed to Jasper and was postmarked London, England. I then realized I recognized the untidy scrawl not unlike my own. I read it to myself.

_Greetings from London!_

_I just wanted to check in with you and the rest at the shop. I know I probably hurt you Jasper and I'm sorry. I promise to explain everything someday, don't know when but I will. I love you all. I'm doing well, London is awesome! Why the hell is this my first time here? I think I'll be here for a while! I'm going to do some traveling for a while, I really need this. But I am sorry that I will be gone for so long. I love you Jasper and everyone else, kiss Edward for me, that'll be really funny! Haha! Oops I'm running out of space, see you when I see you!_

_Kristi_

I looked up from the post card smiling. I shook my head as I handed it back to Jasper trying not to laugh. My sister really was something else.

"You're not really going to kiss me are you?" I asked. Jasper laughed and shook his head.

"I don't think so dude." He said. This was the happiest I had seen him in a while. I think this was just what he needed to get himself out of his rut.

"How did she end up in England?" Asked Rose.

"Who knows, she's crazy." Said Alice shaking her head but smiling.

"Aw man she's going to have some great stories when she comes back!" Said Emmett laughing. We all laughed at him. She sure was. And I couldn't wait for that day.


	14. Chapter 14

I sighed as I flopped down onto my bed. It had been a really long day as far as I was concerned. I turned my head tiredly to look at the little black journal sitting on my bedside table. He had told me to take my time with it and I kept insisting I would get it back to him soon but now I wasn't so sure. Once we got to the shop this afternoon and he started working I was left to think about all I had been told. He had only been able to read the article and the day after entry. By the end of it I was practically in tears. I wasn't going to be able to read through this fast. It stunned me to even think about what he had been through. I couldn't imagine finding my parents and brother dead and then have to deal with the fact that my brother is the one that killed them all. I wonder why he did it. Edward never said and I didn't want to press him for details as he was practically in tears by the end of the reading. I was sure I would find the answer in the book.

I sighed again and rolled over, burying my face in my pillow. Why was life so complicated? I remembered growing up in Forks, just me, Emmett, and my Dad. When I was four and Emmett eleven our Mom died, killed by a drunk driver. But growing up it never seemed like we were missing a lot. My Dad did a great job filling in as two parents, he made our lives good. I could never imagine if both of my parents had been in the car that night, leaving Emmett to take care of me. He wouldn't have even been able to. We were too young. At least Edward was old enough to take care of Kristi. Emmett and I would have probably been put into foster care and split up.

I lay still as I heard my door open quietly. I wanted whoever it was to think that I was asleep. I had been up at the crack of dawn finishing a project for my life drawing class, gone to Edwards, went to the shop, and then had been in class until 9 20. I was beat and just wanted to be left alone; it had been a long and emotionally draining day.

"Bells?" Nope, just couldn't have things go my way could I? I lifted my head up and turned it to look at my bug hulking brother who was currently filling my door way.

"What?" I asked him emotionlessly, that was his cue to leave. Unfortunately he didn't catch it and he walked into the room and sat down on my bed facing me. I rolled over onto my back to look at him.

"I'm worried about you and Edward." He said with a deep dark look on his face. I rolled my eyes.

"I already told you a million times Emmett, Edward and I are not having sex." I mumbled, tossing an arm over my eyes. My brother had asked me several times since Edward asked me to be his girlfriend after our third date if we were, as he put it, knocking boots.

"That's not what I'm talking about. I trust the both of you to be smart when you do start." He said. I uncovered my eyes to look at him.

"If that's not what you're worried about then what is it?" I asked confused. I sat up, folding my legs lotus style. He sighed and took my hand.

"Listen. I've known Edward for a really long time. I met him about a year and a half after his parents and brother died. He was messed up Bella, really messed up. Jasper and I were there for him in ways you can't even imagine. There are things to this day that nobody but us knows about, and he wrote it all down." I stilled. What did he do? What do Emmett and Jasper know? "He pulled me aside today and told me he gave you the journal. I want you to know he's not the only one who wrote in there. I, Jasper, and Kristi all wrote in it too. There were times he couldn't even remember what happened and asked us to record it for him. At first I didn't understand why he was doing this, writing it all down, but I realized it was one of the ways he came up with to cope with what was happening to him. Back then he was too proud to actually go to therapy, despite the fact he made Kristi go. He did a lot of self therapy and a lot of self medication Bells. I just want to prepare you for that." Said Emmett, he looked so depressed. I watched as my big bear of a brother, who always seemed so tough, as tears started dripping down his face. I reached out and gently took his hand.

"It's okay Emmett. If I can't handle it I'll just stop reading for a while. Don't worry about it." I said trying to assure him. He looked at me like he knew something I didn't, well obviously he did.

"You won't be so casual about this Bella once you start reading." He said standing up. "But I guess you're just going to have to find out for yourself. My recommendation would be to only read one entry at a time. I know it will take longer that way, but you won't get so loaded down with everything if you do." I nodded as he turned to leave the room. When he got to my door he turned to look at me over his shoulder. "Promise me something?" He asked.

"What?" I asked.

"Don't let what you read color your judgment and change how you feel about him. He's still the same Edward you've always known." He said. I nodded and he smiled, leaving me alone again. I shifted my gaze from the door to the seemingly non- threatening book on my bedside table. I picked it up and ran my hand over the well worn linen cover. The way Emmett was talking it gave a whole new meaning to the term "little black book." What was in here that was so bad? Other than the article and Edward's entry about what happened I couldn't see what it could be. I guess Emmett was right and I would just have to find out for myself. I sat back against my head board, my pillows cushioning my back. I got comfortable and then I cracked open the book. I turned to the third page, after the article and after Edward's first entry, and began to read.

_March 7, 2004_

_ It's been two days. Two days since it all happened, two days since my parents were killed by my older brother, and two days since he killed himself. Two very long, very tiring days. I'm not even sure how I made it through._

_After the cops showed up at our house some of them went in while others came over to me and Kristi. There was an ambulance there and two lady cops pulled us off the ground and over to it. The EMT's started checking us out but we made it hard for them. We wouldn't let go of one another. I had stopped crying but Kristi hadn't. She was sobbing so hard into my chest and she practically had a death grip on me. I was a little reluctant to get checked out anyway because I had been drinking and smoking before I came home._

_I finally was able to convince the police and the EMT's that there was nothing wrong with us, that we were just in shock. They let us go across the street to our neighbor's house where Kristi had been earlier when she called me. She was supposed to be staying the night there but now I wasn't sure I would let her. Mrs. Peterson asked us if we both wanted to stay but I shook my head. Since I saw what I did in the house I had sobered up a lot, no longer drunk or high. I decided to take Kristi away from the area for a little. I had given the police my cell phone number to get a hold of us anyway, so I guessed it was okay to leave. _

_I had Kristi gather up all her things and then I pulled her out to my car. I had to practically place her in the car myself and buckle her in; she was in such a daze. I'm not even sure how I was able to keep moving, I wanted so badly to shut down like she was. It occurred to me though that I was now the adult, I was now the one in charge. What the hell are we going to do now? The feeling of panic that set in last night in the car as I drove us away from our house has not left and I feel like it never will. How are we going to survive!_

_I drove us to our Uncle Carlisle's in the city. It was pretty late when we got there, maybe just after midnight? Aunt Esme answered the door, she was in her pajamas. She looked really surprised to see us but pleased. She called Uncle Carlisle down stairs, Alice was already in bed or she would have been bouncing around the room in excitement at having us there. We didn't visit often. When both my Aunt and Uncle were in the living room with us I had to tell them what had happened. Our parents and Liam were dead and it was all Liam's doing. They were shocked to say the least. But they immediately offered us a place to say. Uncle Carlisle says they will gladly take us in; he didn't want us having to go to some state owned foster care and get us split up from one another. I'm technically old enough to be on my own but Kristi isn't. I'm glad he offered us a place to stay. I couldn't handle it if I lost my sister too._

_I don't remember the rest of that night. It all passed by in such a daze after that. All weekend Kristi and I have basically been vegetables. We have our own rooms but she has been staying in mine with me. I think she is afraid that something will happen to me too, that if she leaves my side for too long I will disappear too. Honestly that's how I feel as well. I don't want her out of my sight; I refuse to let anything happen to her. If something did happen I wouldn't hesitate to kill myself. _

_Today's Sunday. And my phone has been ringing off the hook. My friends have all seen the article that ran yesterday morning. They all want to see me but I'm not so sure. I'm alone right now. Uncle Carlisle took Kristi down town to get guardianship papers set up for him and her. I'm eighteen, legally an adult, so he doesn't have to do that for me._

_I just got a text from my friend Tyler. He wants me to come hang out; he says he knows just what remedy I need to make me feel better. I know exactly what he's talking about. I've never really been into that stuff. I mean sure I like to smoke pot and drink beer but I've never gotten into hard stuff. He won't stop texting me though. Maybe I should? Yeah I think I will."_

The entry stopped there. I turned the page to see if he had written anymore only to see this massive doodle in pen that stretched across both pages. It was all swirly lines and shading and random body parts and words. The biggest text was in the center. It said "I am so fucking high right now." I shook my head. So he had gotten high but on what? I was sure the next entry would tell me but Emmett had asked me not to read more than an entry at a time so I closed the book and placed it back on my bedside table. I stared at for a little before turning to look around my room. Now what? I wondered. I noticed my easel in the corner. On it was a freshly gessoed white canvas waiting to be painted. It was about 20X30 and hand stretched. I had stretched, sanded, and gessoed it one night when I was bored. I even made the stretcher bars myself rather than going out and buying them at a craft store. But after putting it all together I got stuck as far as what to put on it. But now I think I knew.

I stood up off the bed and walked over to it. I picked up the pencil that was sitting in the detachable tray underneath where the canvas sat and raised it to the canvas, starting to draw the outline of what was in my head. It took me a while, maybe an hour and a half. I didn't think as I drew, erased, and re- drew things, I just did. I went completely on auto pilot, my brain shutting down and my body taking it over. I felt in a daze, my arm moving of its own accord, creating the scene I had seen in my head. When I finished I place the pencil back in the tray and took a couple steps back.

I saw a young man kneeling on the ground in the middle of a walk way leading up to a house. Beside him was a younger looking girl. She had one arm around his waist, the other coming to rest on his arm, gripping it tightly. She had her chin resting on his shoulder as she cried. His one hand braced him on the ground while the other came and rested over hers, over the one on his arm. He was crying too. They both looked like they were in so much pain despite the fact that neither of them had any physical wounds. This was extreme emotional pain. This was Kristi and Edward, or at least how I imagined them to be the night they lost their family. I knew from pictures I had seen in Edward's studio what they looked like back then. Edward looked pretty much the same with the exception of the piercings he had now. Did he even have any tattoos, I had never seen any. I'd have to remember to ask him. Back then he was a clean slate, no decoration what so ever. His little sister was a different story entirely. Kristi, in the picture I had seen of them back then, had bright sky blue hair and already had her first facial piercing, a lip ring. Edward told me he had done it himself as he was in the middle of his piercing apprenticeship and needed someone to practice on. He had said that his Mom had a cow over it while his Dad just sat in his arm chair and laughed his ass off. He told me his Dad was a lot like him in that he didn't take things like that too seriously. His Dad had told his Mom that it wasn't a big deal because it wasn't permanent like a tattoo, that it was the same thing as Kristi's hair color.

I walked over to the small set of cubbies in the corner of my room. I reached into them grabbing paints, brushes, a piece of glass that I used as a palette, and turpentine. This was going to be a big oil painting and I would need the turp to clean my brushes with, plain old water wouldn't ever work.

I set everything up on one of two hospital patient tables I had in the room. This particular one was covered in paint drips as I always used it to hold my supplies while I painted. I unscrewed paint tubes and started squirting and mixing colors. I never used color straight out of the tube; it just made the painting really generic looking. At least I thought so anyway, it was always better to have colors you mixed yourself, it seemed more organic and more your own creation that way. Sometimes I even made my own paints, buying pigments to do so the painting would be extra special. A lot of the paint I was doing this one with was home made.

I don't know how long I painted for. It only felt like minutes but when I turned to look at my alarm clock I saw that it was almost three in the morning, it had been hours. I turned to look back at my canvas. I took a few steps back and cocked my head to the side. I had only done the under painting, I hadn't even started to do the actual detailing and real color. I had done a cool color blue under painting. When I started the actual painting people would see the blue under painting show through and it would give it a cool, sad, nighttime feel. I stilled as I heard someone walking down the hall outside my room. My door creaked open for the second time that night.

"You're still up?" My brother's quiet tenor drifted into the room. I nodded, still looking at the canvas. He came into the room and stood beside me to look at it as well. As he studied it I walked over to my jar of turp and started cleaning my brushes, dropping them in to let them soak for a little while, the paint was pretty caked on. "This is amazing Bells." He said quietly.

"It's not done." I said turning back around to look at him. I wiped my hands down the front of my painting apron as I looked at him. He cocked an eyebrow at me.

"Really? But it looks so good." He said. I had to remind myself that Emmett didn't go to school for art. He had been a computer science major before becoming a piercer at the shop.

"That's just the under painting Em. The blue will shine through when I finish and it will give off a sad nighttime effect." I said. He looked at me surprised.

"That's really cool Bells; I don't know how you do it." He said admiringly. I smiled at my brother. He had always been so supportive of me and my art.

"Thanks Emmett." I said walking over to him and hugging him.

"That's Kristi and Edward isn't it?" He asked quietly. I nodded into his chest. I felt him sigh and then kiss my forehead. I didn't really care how he felt about my painting this. This is how I was going to deal with what was going on in my head as I read the journal. "Don't stay up to late okay?" He asked. I nodded and he let me go. "Good night." He called over his shoulder as he walked out of the room and down the hall to his and Rose's room.

"Good night!" I called back. I walked over to my door and closed it before getting ready for bed. When I was finally in bed with the light off I laid on my back staring up at me ceiling. As tired as I had been earlier I couldn't get to sleep now. I was wide awake. I hated when that kind of crap happened. I sighed as I rolled onto my side and stared at the glowing red numbers of my alarm clock. It was past four now. Good thing I didn't have class today. I did have to go into the shop today though around noon. I could already tell that this was going to be another long day.

I sat up and climbed out of bed. I was going to go do what I always did when I couldn't sleep. I padded quietly out of my room and down the hall to the living room. I crawled onto the couch and curled up at one of the ends with my favorite blanket. I grabbed the remote and clicked on the TV, turning down the volume a bit so as not to disturb Rose and Emmett as they slept. I flipped through the channels until I landed on cartoon networks adult swim. I laid my head down on the arm of the couch as I watched tiredly. Eventually my eyes drifted shut and I was able to fall asleep to the sounds of family guy, unfortunately though my sleep was not a good or restful one.


	15. Chapter 15

**I am reopening the Taste of Ink as of 11/13/11 and taking it off the hiatus at the insistence of one of the students I mentor at my University. Be happy because this is the only story off hiatus right now.**

"Bella, Bella. Get up kiddo, we gotta go to the shop soon." I slowly opened my eyes to see Emmett hovering over me, one of his large hands resting on my shoulder.

"I don't wanna." I mumbled pulling the blanket over my head. I heard him sigh and seconds later the blanket was ripped away from me and I was hit with a rush of cold air. I rolled over to yell at him but fell over the side of the couch. Emmett started laughing his big booming laugh above me.

"Shut up." I grumbled as I pushed myself off the floor and glared at him.

"Go get dressed we need to leave in half an hour." He said trying to stifle his laughs. I rolled my eyes and turned my back on him, stalking my way to my room. When I got there I slammed the door behind me which caused Emmett to laugh loudly again. Sometimes I just wanted to strangle my brother.

I walked over to my dresser and pulled out a pair of jeans, a T shirt, and a hoodie. I swapped out my shirts and then changed my shorts to my jeans. I pulled my hoodie over my head and as my eyes came through the hole they landed on the painting I had started the night before. I walked up to it and stared at the two people in it, Edward and Kristi. I turned to my night stand and looked at the little black book that had birthed this painting. I sighed and turned my back on it, moving to pull my shoes on. Once done I turned back to the book. I walked up to it and picked it up. I sighed again and turned to my back pack and tossed it in. I pulled on my back pack and then went out to the living room.

"It's about time Bella! Let's go, it's my turn to open today." Said Rose. Emmett led us to the door and held it open for us.

We only lived five minutes from the shop and when the weather was permitting we walked. Today was surprisingly nice, the sun was actually out. I traipsed behind my brother and his fiancée as they walked hand in hand down the street. I decided to pull out the book since they were involved in their own conversation. I pulled it out of my bag and opened up to the page after Edwards "I'm high" drawing. The entry was in completely different handwriting and written in what looked like a blue gel pen.

_March 8__th__, 2004_

_ Edward can't write right now so I'm doing it for him. Yesterday Uncle Carlisle took me downtown to fill out guardianship papers at child services. When we got back Edward wasn't there. Alice says he just walked out, didn't say anything to her or Aunt Esme. I waited up for him in his room. I can't sleep unless he's there next to me, I'm too afraid too. Every time I close my eyes I see them, their prone bodies, the blood splatter, the bullet holes, the gun. Every time I fall asleep I dream about them, the scene replaying over and over in my mind. My sleeping brain comes up with projections of how it could have all happened and plays those scenarios on repeat. I know it's the same for Edward. I was so scared he wouldn't come home._

_ But he did…eventually. I stayed up sitting in his bed with the blanket pulled around my shoulders. I just sat there staring at the door. He stumbled in around two in the morning. I had the bedside table light on and he seemed a little confused by it. It took him a while to realize I was there and then even longer for him to focus on me. When he did he stumbled over to me, tripping a couple times and landing on his hands and knees. I knew there was something wrong with him._

_ When he made it over to the bed he flopped down on his back beside me. I looked down at him and he tried to look back up at me but he was having trouble focusing. His eyes were glassy and dazed, his pupils were huge. I tried to talk to him._

"_Where have you been?"_

"_Tyler's."_

"_What were you doing? Why are you home so late?"_

"_Yourrrr not ma motttther Krisss." He slurred._

"_No I'm not. If you remember Mom is dead! And so are Dad and Liam!" _

"_You don't neeed to remiiiind mee." _

"_I think I do. You can't do this Edward. What did you take? This isn't like when you would come home drunk or high from smoking. This is different." _

"_Tyleeeeerr got some good shiiiit. Some coke. It was greaaat."_

_At first I didn't know what he meant. My mind instantly went to coke the soda. But then I realized what he really meant. I didn't know what to do. I knew how to take care of him drunk or when he had been smoking pot or both but this was different, this was new. I pulled him up so he was sitting up, propped on the pillows. I climbed over him and hopped off the bed. I pulled the trashcan over beside the bed. I didn't know if you got sick when you did coke. I ran down the hall to the bathroom and filled a cup with water and grabbed some Tylenol. I didn't know if it would be like a hangover in the morning but I wanted to be prepared if it was. _

_I climbed back into bed with him, both of us propped on the pillows. I pulled the blanket over the both of us and cuddled up to him. He clumsily put his arm around my shoulders._

"_I'm ssth-orry Kris." He slurred. I didn't say anything, I couldn't. I started crying into his shirt. He didn't do much, he couldn't really. He pulled me closer and laid his head on mine, it was all he was really capable of in his high state. We fell asleep that way. That night the nightmares were the strongest they have ever been, for both of us. That night he was dead in mine. That night I was dead in his._

"Bella!" I jumped. I looked up to see Emmett and Rose staring at me waiting by the door of the shop. I was a good ways behind them. I had finished the entry quickly but was apparently walking very slowly. I ran up the street to them. When I got there Rose went inside, Emmett holding open the door. I was about to walk in too but he blocked my way. He glanced down at the book in my hand.

"Don't let him see that, put it away before he gets here." He said before moving and letting me in. I walked into the shop and to the arm chair and sat down. Edward and Jasper were constantly sitting in it when they didn't have clients and when they were busy I sat in it. All three of us wanted to be at least a little close to Kristi.

Kristi. I had realized after the first few lines of the entry that it was Kristi who had written it. I opened the book back up and looked at the blue gel pen. I ran my fingers over the words, words she had penned into the paper. Words a twelve year old girl should never have to write. It was sad she had to take care of Edward like that. And judging by what she had written it wasn't the first time she had taken care of him before when he was indisposed. I wonder if his parents new about what he would do with his friends. I wonder if his brother knew. That's so much for a kid to handle. How could he do that to her? It had to be tough. It had to be even tougher that night.

She had mentioned not being able to sleep without him there. How long did that go on? I know she moved out when she was fourteen. When did she stop having nightmares if it all? I know Edward still had them. When they slept together did they not have them? She had written that that night Edward had also been dead in her dream and she in his. She was probably so scared when he didn't come home and then when he did he was so messed up. That probably influenced her fears and nightmares. And his high state of mind probably affected his.

How could he not see what he was doing to himself and her? I really hoped as I moved through the book that his behavior would change. But judging by the way Emmett had been acting I was guessing not. I was tempted to read another entry but I heard the bell above the door go off. I looked up to see Edward walking in. I quickly stowed the book into my back pack and zipped it shut, eliminating any possibility of him seeing it.

"Hey beautiful." He said as he came over to me and kissed me. I closed my eyes as he did my stomach flip flopping as it always did. When I opened my eyes he had pulled away and was smiling. I blushed. He had a knack for dazing me and he had once again caught me.

"How was your night?" He asked as he tossed his stuff onto his desk before hopping up onto the counter in front of me. I shrugged.

"Alright, painted a little." I said softly. I was going to avoid the topic of the book if possible, but he made it hard for me.

"Did you read any of it?" He asked quietly. I nodded. "How much?" He asked.

"One entry last night, one today before I got here." I said. He nodded not meeting my eyes.

"So you've read one of Kristi's entries then." He said. It wasn't a question but I answered anyway.

"Yeah."

"And?" he asked. I raised my eyebrow at him.

"And what?" I asked.

"You don't have anything to say about how I acted, about what she said?" He asked. I was silent. I had plenty of questions but I didn't want to pester him with them.

"Well, I mean…I have questions but I'm pretty sure if I keep reading they'll eventually get answered." I said. He nodded.

"I'm pretty sure I know what one of your questions is." He said seriously.

"Yeah?" I asked. He nodded.

"Why would I do that to her?" He asked.

"And yourself." I added. He pursed his lips and pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

"I'm not sure if I do answer that in the book so I want to tell you." He said letting his hand drop and looking at me warily. He opened his mouth but I stopped him, placing a hand on his knee.

"Don't. Not if you can't handle that right now. Tell me whenever you're ready Edward." I said standing up and moving in between his legs. He wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his face in my neck.

"I just don't want you to think badly of me. I was pretty messed up…really messed up. But I loved my sister; I tried to do good for her. It was just so hard." His voice cracked. I felt him taking shuddering breaths. I wrapped my arms tightly around him and turned my head so my mouth was by his ear.

"Shhh Edward, it's alright, I know that. I know you love her, I know you tried. You obviously tried for her if you were made her guardian a year later. It's alright. I don't think badly of you at all. That's not you anymore, I know that." I said reassuringly. He pulled away a little so he could see me. He had a look on his face that said what I had said wasn't completely true.

"You're not that person anymore, right?" I asked. He sighed and looked at a spot over my shoulder. My grip tightened on him. "Edward?" I asked. I could feel a panicky feeling starting to grow in my stomach.

"I don't do drugs anymore." He said, he still wasn't meeting my gaze. His statement didn't reassure me. "I drink, a lot. Too much." He said finally meeting my eyes. His gaze held so much regret and sorrow. "I constantly have a hangover; I always have booze in the house. Kristi used to yell at me. But as you get farther in the book you'll read my suspicions about her. Later on I wasn't the only one with the problem." He said. I didn't know what to say. I didn't think Kristi was really like that.

"I guess I don't know her as well as I thought I did." I said quietly. He tightened his hold around my waist.

"It's okay Bella; you didn't know her for very long before she left. By the time you finish that book you'll know her a lot better." He said smiling.

"I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing." I said smiling too. "Shouldn't I be hearing that sort of thing from her?"

"It's alright, she'll understand." He said. He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed him back with fervor. I wanted to let him know I still cared for him, and that none of the problems in his past could change how I felt about him. Or even the problems he was experiencing now.

"Oi! Quit it! No one wants to see you two going at it." Yelled Emmett. I jumped away from Edward and quickly sat down in the arm chair. I heard a chuckle from across the room.

"Problem Bella?" Asked Jasper softly as he looked at his phone, I hadn't even noticed him come in. Emmett snickered.

"Shut up Em." I said grabbing a pencil from behind the register and throwing it at him.

"Hey! I didn't say it!" He yelled.

"No but you laughed." I said. He threw the pencil back, completely missing me and hitting Edward who was still on the counter.

"Hey watch it jerk." He said hopping off the counter and throwing the pencil back at Emmett.

"Why! Why do you two love abusing me!" He wailed dramatically. Jasper snorted from his seat, not looking up from his phone.

"Because you make it so easy." He said finally looking up.

"Shut up." Emmett grumbled. Just then the bell rang and Alice danced into the shop, everyone was finally there. She glanced at Emmett and raised her brow as she walked by.

"What's your problem?" She asked.

"Nothing." He grumbled.

"Well whatever it is get over it you big baby, I've got something to share with everyone!" She said excitedly.

"What is it?" Asked Rose from Emmett's client chair. Alice dug into her purse and pulled out a thick manila envelope.

"I got this in the mail! It's postmarked London, England!" She squealed.

"What?" Asked Jasper. He had put away his phone and gotten up and walked over to stand beside Alice. Emmett and Rose gathered closer as well.

"You know what's inside? A letter for each of us!" She said happily. She opened the big envelope to produce smaller white ones. She handed one to each of us.

"Should we read them now?" Asked Emmett looking down at his. Jasper answered him.

"I think we should read them together." He said.

"Who wants to go first?" Asked Rose.

"I will." I said.


	16. Chapter 16

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**

I slowly slit open my letter, my hands shaking slightly. I was so nervous and I wasn't sure why. It had been well over two months since she had left and the only contact we had had with her since was the post card she sent Jasper. But that was a post card there couldn't be much on that because it was the writing space was so small. I pulled out a piece of lined paper and unfolded it. I cleared my throat quietly before reading it.

"Hey Bella. S'up?" I started. Emmett snickered. I tried to suppress my own laughs as I continued. "I know we weren't friends for very long before I left but I want you to know you mean so much to me. I love you so much already." My voice cracked on the last sentence. She really feels for me like that? Edward placed a comforting hand on the back of my neck.

"I can't tell you how thankful I am to you for what you have done for me. You were the one that really convinced me to leave Jake and it's the best thing that ever happened to me despite the fact that he fractured my cheekbone in the process." I paused when I heard a few growls. I looked up to see both Emmett and Jasper staring angrily at the piece of paper in my hand. I felt Edwards hand tighten a little on me. I reached out and took his other hand and he loosened his hold.

"I realize you're probably sharing this with the others so tell them to chill the fuck out. My cheeks fine, I got it checked out and I'll be okay. I'm only going to write this once so make sure the others hear it because I don't feel like repeating myself.

That day when I broke it off with Jake and he fractured my cheek I went to the hospital but I left because they were going to call the cops. I ran. I drove all the way to Forks. I remembered you and Emmett talking about it. I saw your Dad." I stopped and looked at Emmett.

"She went home." I mumbled, he nodded.

"She saw Dad. I wish he had said something when I talked to him. I talked to him the day she went missing." Emmett said looking down. Rose wrapped her arm around his waist for comfort. I looked back down to the letter.

"I left the next day though, right after I called you. I actually drove back to Seattle, but to the airport. I'm in the UK. It's fucking awesome! I know I said in my postcard to Jazz that I was going to travel around but I think I'll stay here for a while. It's good for me. I got a flat and a job! I love it here. I miss you guys a lot though. I'll see you all again someday though, I know that for sure. Kristi" I finished. I looked up at the sullen faces around me.

"Someday?" Asked Jasper. Rose wrapped her other arm around his waist. She was holding Jasper and Emmett closer to her sides.

"Who's next?" I asked quietly.

"Me." Alice said. She slit open her envelope and pulled out a pink piece of paper. She giggled as she unfolded it.

"Ali Cat, my cuzzo. You know I love you. I think that goes without saying." Alice read. "Duh!" She said looking up for a second. "I keep thinking about what you said to me in Edwards kitchen, what you yelled at me…Thank you." She read. She stopped for a second and frowned, tears starting to leak down her cheeks. "You were right. I needed a reality check, I was drowning. And it took getting my face beat in for me to surface." Alice stopped and covered her mouth as a sob escaped. Jasper reached for her and held her tight to his chest. Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Emmett were all connected now. Emmett reached for me hand and took it. Now we all were.

"I know you're crying Alice, fucking stop it!" Alice read. She laughed through her tears. "I love you. Kristi." Alice turned her face into Jaspers chest.

"Who wants to go now?" She asked, her voice coming through muffled.

"I'll go." Emmett said. He used his free hand and his teeth to rip open his envelope, not wanting to drop my hand. He dropped the envelope and maneuvered the piece of paper open. On the back of the paper she had doodled Emmett wrestling a bear. I snickered as he looked at it. He flipped the paper over to read.

"You like bear rassling don't ya Emmy bear?" He tilted his head back and let out a barking laugh.

"Yeah I bet you do." He read. He snickered. This was going to take forever if he kept stopping like that. "I know your probably a lot more upset then you let on Emmett." He read. His smile dropped and he stared at the paper for a second.

I looked at my brother. I hadn't really thought about how this was all affecting him. He had seemed to let everything roll right off his back. He ran around comforting everyone else and being a goof. He never let it show whether or not he was bothered.

"Let it the fuck out Emmett, I know you want to cry. You're a lot more sensitive then you let on." He bit his lip as I did. She was right. Most people didn't realize how sensitive he really was. Silent tears started leaking down his face.

"You'll feel better once you do Em I promise. Don't you ask me how I know. You always do and I always tell you to fuck off cuz I know shit. Trust me." He said. And that was it. Emmett's damn broke, he was bawling. He moved away from us and sat down in Kristi's chair. He looked at Rose.

"Lock that god damn door." He said turning his head away from the front. Emmett was a tough guy he didn't want anyone coming in and seeing him look like this. Rose quickly moved to the door and locked it. When she walked back over Emmett reached for her. She maneuvered her pregnant self onto his lap and he continued reading.

"You're feeling better already aren't you?" He nodded slightly. "I know you Em. Don't worry brother bear, all is well. I love you. Kristi." We were all silent. Emmett had his head down. No one tried to say anything to him, if we did it would only hurt his pride. Instead Rose took the attention off of him.

"I guess I'll go, although I'm not sure what she will have to say to me." She said shrugging. I was wondering what Kristi would say to Rose too. Rose told me they hadn't been particularly close, only bonding over their love for fine arts mediums. Rose opened her letter and was quiet.

"Well?" Asked Emmett trying to read her letter. She pulled it away from him and got up and moved across the room from him. She was reading it silently to herself, her hand pressed to her chest, her facial expression extremely sad.

"Rose what is it?" Asked Jazz holding out a hand to her. She stopped reading and walked over to take it. She glanced around the circle and shook her head.

"She's asked me not to read the main part of her letter to you all. Although…" She started and turned to look at Jasper. "When did you email her?" She asked.

"What?" Asked Edward. "You emailed her? I didn't even know she had an email address, she doesn't even like computers." He said. Jasper shrugged.

"She has one because I had to email her a design once when she had to cover a client for me. I emailed her on a whim a few weeks ago. I knew there was next to no chance that she would see it but I did it anyway." Jasper said looking down.

"What can you tell us Rose?" I asked quietly. She looked over at me.

"Not much. What she told me she said she wrote in Edwards letter as well and she asks that neither of us talk about it. She did say that I can tell you all that she's not drinking or smoking anything anymore or doing drugs." Rose said looking at Edward. He smiled slightly.

"That's good to hear, I was worried about her."

"Why can't we know?" Asked Alice. I sighed. Alice was never one to take anything like this kindly. If she wanted to know something she was going to find out. She could never accept the answer she was given.

"Because Alice." Rose said scowling. "It's something rather private that she doesn't want too many people to know."

"Well why tell you then? Why not tell Jasper and Edward, why you?" Asked Alice indignantly. Jasper perked up at that.

"Yeah. Why not me?" He asked. Rose sighed.

"What it is…it'll hurt you, she doesn't want to disappoint you. She told me because she knew I would understand and she told Edward because she thought he had a right to know as her brother and old guardian." Rose said. Jasper looked at his feet dejectedly. "Don't take it personal. She wants to be able to tell the rest of you herself. She's just not ready for everyone to know." She said. Jasper nodded not looking up.

Just then our little powwow was broken up by a knock on the door. A regular was trying to get into the shop. He waved a big burly hand at us and smiled. Rose walked over to let him in.

"We'll read the last two after work." Edward said. Jasper nodded. It was only Edward and Jasper's letters left. And if I was going to be perfectly honest I was anxious to hear what was in theirs. Although Edward probably wouldn't be able to tell us too much from his judging from what Rose said. What the hell is going on with Kristi? I really hope she is alright.


End file.
